The Greatest Fear
The Greatest Fear
I landed on this planet totally fearless
Little did I suspect anybody around me
I wailed and screamed for attention
Out of thirst and hunger but not out of fear
My mother’s loving hug reassured me
That I was very safe and secure
As long as her wings protected me
I slept peacefully, only to wake up to get fed
As long as I stayed home with my mother
I knew not what fear meant
One day all of a sudden
My mother dropped me in a strange place
And guess what; she walked away
I knew nobody there
There were many others like me
Crying their hearts out
How could you do this to me Amma?
One auntie carried me and tried to pacify me
I wouldn’t stop crying and in came another auntie
She carried me out of that room
Went into the garden and tried to pacify me in vain
She raised her voice and sternly said, ‘Stop’
That place scared me a lot
I later came to know it was a school
After crying for hours, I got tired and slept
I woke up when I could feel the soft hands of my mother
Hey, she came back, she took me home
Thus I had the experience of my first fear in life
; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Separation from my dearest mother
I did not know then that it was just the beginning
Fear of darkness, fear of ghosts and even Gods
Fear of exams, fear of competition, fear of performance
Fear of verbal abuse, fear of physical abuse
Fear of bias, fear of failure, fear of disappointment,
Fear of leaving my family of 25 years and entering a strange family
Fear of getting let down by my own people
Fear of getting branded
Fear of being ignored and neglected
Fear of earning disrespect
Fear of loneliness
Fear of losing my dear ones
Fear of losing their love
Fear of my children moving away from me
Fear of the unknown risks
Fear of diseases
Fear of becoming a parasite
And losing my independence
Fear of displeasing my own kith and kin
The list is endless
Everyday of my life is spent in fear
Of one thing or the other
But the worst fear is that of death
The mystery that nobody can unravel
It is not the death actually that frightens me
But the way in which death is going to embrace me
Will it be too sudden or too painful or too undignified?
I always pray and wish I die in my sleep