Lost And Found

I have always been questioning everything since I was a kid. When I was 5, I would question why do we wake up in the morning and sleep at night? Why do we walk on two legs and animals walk on four? When I grew up I started questioning our existence on earth when there are 9 more planets, oh okay 8 planets? Did the pluto get angry with us? Did it go to some other solar system? If there is gravity, how do birds fly? When I grew even elder, the questions started getting matured and making more sense. I eventually figured out answers to everything. But there is this question I don't know the answer to!

"WHO AM I?"

Am I that broken soul always contemplating over the past that hardly makes any sense?

Or am I that cluttered messy person who cannot find things on time?

Or am I those tangled earphones that are taking way too long to get entangled?

Or maybe I am the girl in the crowdy local trains trying hard to breathe and survive?

Maybe I am just another voice in the chaos.

 Not to forget I am a professional overthinker, too.

As I was standing in front of the stained mirror,

Questioning my own self,

Overthinking simultaneously because that's what I am good at,

I gazed into those dark brown eyes that are full of tears that would take off any moment now.

I looked at those black curls falling off from my face that I have always disliked.

I stared back at those scars and remnants of pimples on my face.

I noticed how my face has turned tanned and pale losing all its charm.

It has been long, since I took care of it.

I looked at the tight clothes that society considers as beautiful,

That every day I try to fit in.

Then I saw a gold ring still sparkling the same in my ring finger t

That my parents gifted me after so much crying when I was thirteen.

I remember how stubborn I was back then regarding things that I always wanted.

I grew up and priorities changed from things I love to things that need to be done.

I think, in this process of growing matured I lost myself up!

This is totally a different Urvi, No I was never like this.

What do I do? Should I file a complaint?

Stop being insane Urvi. You have been hypnotized by the social norms of this world,

And everyone else has been.

What do I do then? Go on a soul searching trip and weep.

That's not what you do. break yourself free from the cage you have imprisoned yourself in.

Stop going there because the crowd is.

Oh, I am lost. I am tired of this overthinking, of this chaos that always hit me up between my work.

and makes me do crazy things.

Like turning all this chaos into a poem without any metaphors, without rhyme scheme?

That's what a productive person does, right?

Embrace the flaws and turn them into something creative?

That day I didn't sleep.

I wiped off the stains from the mirror, saw my own reflection,

Took a deep breath and I kept writing poems until it turned to dawn,

Replaced the bodycon and heals with loose sweatshirts and sneakers,

Went to the office and quit my job.

That night was magical, I found a writer in me, I found a poet and a storyteller.

That night, I removed the knuckles of a corporate job from my hand

And gave it the freedom to write.

That night I finally found myself, when will you?