Struggle

Do you know how hard I struggle?

Every day is hard.

Every day is a battle for us all.

I understand that everyone struggles.

I understand that many have it worse than I.

Their pain, their struggles, their battles...

They do not negate or lessen my own.

I don't need sympathy.

I don't need pity.

I do my best to give everyone empathy and understanding.

But I still struggle.

I want to be better than I am now.

I struggle to be better everyday.

I fail.

I fail often and spectacularly.

I have thought of suicide in the past.

I have considered running away and hiding from everyone and everything.

I can't.

Something inside me keeps struggling.

Something makes me face the world each day.

There are days when I can't.

Days when I retreat.

Days when I DO hide.

But I always keep going.

Even on those days I make it through another day, another hour, another minute.

I suffer.

I hurt.

I retreat.

I hide.

I do NOT stop.

I survive the pain and struggle.

You can't see it.

I can't see your struggle.

I hope you win your struggle.

I hope you know I'm cheering for you everyday.

I may not know you.

I still cheer.

I may not like you.

I still cheer.

Because everyday is a new chance.

Because every hour is a new opportunity.

Because every minute is a new moment.



I love.

I hurt.

I feel.

I grow.

You may not see it.

You may not cheer me.

You may never know the battle I face.

You will never know the struggle just to face the mirror and look into my own eyes.

I hope you cheer.

I hope you seek to understand another's struggle even if it isn't mine.

Even if you don't I still cheer for you.

Do you know how hard I struggle?