My Type

My mother always told me I

Was a lost cause and

Maybe that's why I loved

Men who were lost causes too,

Maybe that's why my type was the

Pretend-to-fall-in-love-and-break-your-heart type.

The fuck-you-for-seventeen-nights-and-leave-you type.

The kiss-you-under-broken-streetlights-so-nobody-would-see type.

The mess-up-your-peace type.

The ruin-your-nights type.

Firefighters call my heart a lost cause,

A broken-down house

That's too far gone to save

From burning to the ground.

Ambulances race the other way with their

Sirens turned off because they know

There's no rescuing someone

From a fire, an arsonist started

From her bones so I

Take down an entire forest

With me-

Burn

Burn

Burn.

Maybe that's why my type was the

Push-you-into-fires-and-watch-you-burn type

The flick-cigarettes-off-your-skin type

The watch-you-turn-into-ashes type.

I was looking for my next lost cause when

I ran into you

At an old, forgotten bookstore that had

More dust bunnies than novels,

More memories than people,

And you, in your plaid shirt and

Mismatched socks had

No fucking right

To be there-

In the right place, at the right time,

Looking like the exact opposite

Of a lost cause. I see you

And I see

Fresh starts.

Protein shakes.

Star-gazing at 2 am.

Waking up to pancakes in bed.

Singing off-key to a 90's pop song in the shower.

You look up at me from the novel

You were engrossed in and your golden

Brown eyes catch the sunlight

Filtering in from the nearest

Broken window and suddenly I see poetry written

In the wrinkles beneath your eyelids

And I think-

𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦.

The watch-movies-in-our-socks-on-Sundays type.

The come-home-to type.

The keep-around-for-years type.

The dance-with-in-the-kitchen type.

The I-want-four-kids-with-you type.

The I-see-home-in-your-eyes type.

The I-think-I'm-falling-in-love-with-you type.

The I-think-I'm-going-to-stay-in-love-with-you type.

God, would it really kill me to walk over

And say hello?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I can't help it. I'm the

Lost-cause-that-refuses-to-be-saved type.

And you look exactly like the

Save-people-for-a-living type.