I Feel Numb

I feel numb,

I feel aloof,

No, not some disorder,

But an ache in my heart,

Which I feel no more.

The ache, 

Which was so flashy before,

Which was so to the fore,

But now,

Now I feel nothing.

There's everything in excess,

The throbe,

The pang,

Except for the beatitude,

The hilarity,

That sometimes I feel,

Am I not worthy of that?

Are there any shortcomings in me?

That now I'm confused,

How to react!

When someone treats me well,

The way I ought to be.

My heart feels paralyzed.

I wish to love,

But restrain myself.

I just cannot help myself.

Now I'm just,

A deep soul

Residing in a lifeless body!