Afterlife

Life is precious because you can’t watch it again,

You can believe in an afterlife if that makes you feel better,

Doesn’t mean it’s true,

Once you realize you’re not going to be around forever,

I think that’s what makes life so magical.

Women are better than men,

And they never stop trying to bring us up to their standard,

Most things are a good excuse for a drink,

Don’t worry about your past,

Worry about your future,

You can’t not care about things you actually care about,

You can’t fool yourself,

You can’t change the world,

You can change yourself.

We’re all screwed up in one way or another,

It sort of makes you normal,

When you do find a fella, dance with him when he wants,

There is no bright future in journalism, By the time you’re a features writer,

There won’t be newspapers as we know them,

It’ll just be a s*** storm on the Internet,

People posting nasty, f***ing hateful opinions that aren’t even theirs because their editor told them to,

To get clickbait for f***ing advertisers because the world is full of f***ing morons,

It’s awful,

It’s an awful future.

It is everything,

Being in love, I mean,

You just don’t need anything else,

You realize that even more when they’re not around,

I’d rather be nowhere with her than somewhere without her,

Everything’s bad for you,

We’re all dying,

Being healthy is just dying more slowly,

All drunks hurt themselves,

Just the trick is to be a good drunk and not hurt other people,

Happiness is amazing,

It’s so amazing,

It doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not.