The Fortune Teller

The place where I had been escorted to was supposed to be where I found what my future would be. Sweat trickled down my face. There were butterflies in my stomach. And, my fingers had twirled up like freshly boiled noodles. I was really anxious about this. Had I wasted my 7000$ in the fee for this? Was I prepared for the future? 

When the fortuneteller and I reached the SPOT. The fortuneteller dug out a hole in the dirt where he plucked out a small piece of paper.

He stared at it forever as if IT were a calculus question. FINALLY, he uttered a few words, ‘Hey, I found out your future and whatever but to unveil it I’ll need a random stick soooooo could you pass me that one right there? I did as commanded, my anxiety growing.

And then he predicted, “With the power bestowed upon thou by this holy wand..”

“Holy wand?” I asked, shocked. He briefly glanced at me like "what did you say?" but went back to normal. (by which I mean weird, but normal)

He continued, “ I predict that you JORDAN SMITH will pass school in these exams with top marks.”

Shocked again, I replied, “My name is Matthew Perry and I finished school 29 years ago!”

The  man said in haste “Thank you for your donations, have a nice day!”

Then he started running away. I chased him with the ‘holy wand’ but he outran me.