White

I am Dharni. The only hope in my blackened life books. I read as many books as I can.

“Dharni!”

“Yes, ma!”

“Go to the market and bring milk and sugar. Take this money.”

“Okay!” I said and left for the market. Those schoolkids seem to be so happy. If only I were still going to school, I would have been that happy too. For now, I can only wish. I bought what Ma asked me for and handed it over to her.

“Ma! When can I go to school again?” I enquired to which Ma didn’t reply anything. This happens usually but today I want to know when.

“Ma! Answer me. You always keep quiet whenever I ask this question.” I kept pestering Ma till she answered.

“Soon” was her reply. I don’t know when this soon will come.

Time passed by and one day I asked Ma if I can also work like her. To which she angrily replied that I am not made for this. Then what am I made for? I can’t study, I can’t work. Why?

Ma works in a factory. The income she gets is not sufficient for the household so I wanted to work as well. But she denied saying that I should study. But how can I? If I don’t even go to school.

After a few days, she started working as a maid in different houses. I didn’t like it honestly because I saw one of the owners talking rudely to Ma. I told her to quit but she didn’t. She said that she is the only one who talks like this, all the others are nice. I didn’t want to believe it but had to. By the time she used to reach home, she was already worn off. So I started cooking. Though I wasn’t able to cook nicely, I was able to manage. I am 12 after all. The books I read is the one I bought when I was still in school. When father didn’t leave us to suffer. It’s been almost a year since he left, and I left school. If everything was normal, I might be busy with the final exams.

It's the summer holidays for school children. This time was my favourite not because of the holidays but I can teach the little children who are eager to learn just like me. But I don’t think I can go just like that. We started living in a different place because we can’t pay the rent. We have shifted to a similar area to the children I used to teach. Yeah! Why can’t I teach? But who’ll come? The children I used to teach were poor and can’t pay. And the children who can pay, why would they come to me? They can hire qualified tutors.

“Dharni! Look I’ve got something.” Ma said. I went to her and saw a pamphlet. It stated whoever wants to learn sewing can join them. And the best part is, it is free. I was happy. Ma always wanted to learn sewing. I was happy for her. I saw her happy after a long time.

“Are you going, Ma?” I asked.

“No! You are going, Dharni. I have other works to do.”

“What? Me?” I was sceptical. I just turned thirteen. How can I go? It is offered by the government. They would have an age limit. I checked the whole pamphlet but there was no description of age.

“Yes! They are teaching this to anyone who is interested.” Exactly anyone who is interested, but I am not. I am happy with my books. But seeing my Ma’s happy face I decided to go. But I have to confirm everything before joining.

The very next day I went to the said location and found out there is indeed no barrier for age. I saw children of my age and some seem older to me. Anyhow, I started learning with basics. I am a quick learner so I’ve learned a few tricks like rolling a thread in a bobbin winder, with the help of a balance wheel. I soon got new friends. I was alone for almost a year and talking to them makes me complete. I help them whenever they need help and vice-versa.

I reach home and tell Ma everything. I am having a nice time. I wish Ma can come there and learn too. But how can I apply the teachings at home? We don’t have a sewing machine. I want to teach Ma whatever I’ve learnt till now. The next day our teacher told us to show our skills. Basically, it’s like a test. Whoever is good at it they’ll be given small tasks to which they’ll be paid. I decided to win this test. So I gave my best.

“Dharni, you are doing great.” Tanvi said. She is my friend here. We both are the same age.

“Thank you! You are also doing great.” I complimented.

“Thanks!” She replied. “We have to win Dharni, then I’ll tell mom that I want to become a fashion designer. This time she won’t be able to say anything.” She said with a proud smile and I reciprocated the same.

We did our best and we won with some others as well.

"Tomorrow the winners will be given reward money and some tasks to perform," Tanvi enlightened me. I knew I’ll be given tasks but didn’t know about the reward money. I was happy. I went home and told Ma about it. She was happy and kissed my forehead.

“I am proud of you. I always knew that my daughter is special,” she said with a proud motherly smile. I requested her to take a leave for some time and watch me receive the reward amount to which she hesitated at first but agreed.

The next day she came and saw me receiving my reward. She had tears in her eyes, which I assume is of joy. The reward amount was 500 rupees which is not a big amount for many of you but the joy and determination it brought in me can’t be expressed in words. That camp was held for complete summer vacation and I earned around three thousand rupees which is a lot for me. I want to buy a sewing machine and teach Ma. I didn’t tell this to Ma.

I went to market with Tanvi to know the price of a sewing machine. Turned out none was under four thousand rupees. Tanvi offered me money but I didn’t want to borrow it. So I returned home and asked Ma if she has thousand rupees. She said yes but asked me the reason. I can’t tell her what I want to do with the money but I had to if I want to buy the machine. I told her and she was surprisingly angry. I tried to explain the reason behind it, but she didn’t listen. She said with this money I can go to school and not waste any time living at home. She was right in her own way but I tried to explain to her that this sewing machine will help her gain extra income. And for this year I can go to a government school.

“Ma, please! Try to understand. We will have an extra source of income and I can go to school happily and for you, you can live your dream.” I tried to reason. After a lot of pleadings, she finally gave in with one condition I’ll excel in my studies, no matter which school.

Tanvi, Ma and I went to the sewing store and bought the sewing machine.

Time passed by and our summer vacation was over. And as promised I started going to school and started learning wholeheartedly. I taught Ma how to use a sewing machine and now she is happy.

Seeing your loved ones happy makes you happy too. And I love my Ma to bits.