Smita Jain

Comedy Drama


Smita Jain

Comedy Drama

WARNING! It is a Computer Virus

WARNING! It is a Computer Virus

5 mins

It was a normal day at work and I was busy as usual, immersed in my laptop screen and typing away furiously. 

“Trrrng”, came the sound of another email, and I automatically clicked the notification at the bottom right of my laptop screen.

The email window opened itself five times before pausing. I was irritated with the distraction that diverted me from my precious report. I pressed the minimize button and promptly saw my screen repeating this action five more times. I started to type on the open PowerPoint document and saw all the letters replicating themselves five times. The gravity of the matter hit me then.

I unplugged the charger and dashed towards the IT room, stopping breathlessly upon reaching the workstation of the service guy. I was still panting from the after effect of the unplanned but much needed physical exercise when the guy self- importantly proclaimed that my laptop has succumbed to “Pentagramaticide”, a severe virus attack that had been hijacking systems since the previous day.

“It is a very severe virus category and the quarantine and erasing procedures will take quite some. Please leave the laptop here, I will call you when your system gets sorted,” he quipped.

My protestations about the important report, imminent deadline, client meeting etc. all fell on deaf ears. At last, I decided to mail the last version of the document to my personal email id so that I can continue to work.

“You are doing so at your risk madam,” the service guy sagely said. A remark which I chose to ignore. Tit-for-tat.

I saved the document, closed and mailed it to myself, an action that took an excruciatingly long time to be successful.

As I started getting up from the chair, I repeated the same action five steps before I could successfully do so. I looked at the service guy stupefied.

“Madam, this virus is contagious and spreads to humans if you are exposed to it beyond 10 minutes. That is why we are working on the systems with special rubber gloves,” said the triumphant man showing me his rubber-gloved hands. “Great timing,” I muttered to myself and then heard this thought reverberating five times inside my head before they stopped.

The IT guy shrugged, “Well I did warn you to mail the document at your own risk. Now this condition will only stop when we have cleaned up your laptop. Till then please do stay away from other human beings.”

I was able to walk out of the room with great difficulty, what with my legs insisting on lifting themselves up and down five times before completing a single step. Why couldn’t I have prioritized my dear personal self over official work for a change? At least I would have remained a normal human being.

I turned in the direction of my boss’s cabin. My colleagues stared at the spectacle of a person exercising weirdly in the office in the middle of the day. Soon the poor souls were infected.

I knocked at my boss’s cabin door and entered.

“You didn’t have to knock five times, I heard you…” he started and paused, pondering at my laborious efforts of seating myself in the visitor’s chair.

“Are you alright?” he asked concerned.

“Virus, report incomplete, shift meeting, I want a raise….” I tried to be economical with words but couldn’t help as each of them still reverberated in the room five times.

“OMG,” he exclaimed. “I can join the dots from the first three words, how is the subject of raise related here?”

It wasn’t. I had jumped at the chance of expressing my views on a topic that I always found difficult to bring up in a regular situation.

“Regarding the raise …” he broke off upon realizing that his words were also getting repeated five times by now.

“Virus contagious…can turn it off…will take a day…if you agree,” I said.

He wanted to say that you are threatening me but didn’t.

“Will reactivate if you decide to change your mind later,” I added.

“Ok, ok, I agree…” he muttered under his breath. “If you can undo this virus effect now.”

“Will take a day, you may choose to compose and send the email to HR now,” I smiled inwardly and with great effort walked out of his room. The entire office was an exhibition in itself by now. However, sitting inside his glass cabin, my boss will keep on thinking of himself as the only victim, at my mercy.

Finally, some good came out of the computer virus with the ability to spread to humans. I mentally took a mental note to not be over-enthusiastic about all things official once my laptop is repaired, and felt my head vibrate again.


Rate this content
Log in

Similar english story from Comedy