USED

When Radha called me. I was almost asleep, I usually struggle to get my sleep and my prescription meds always don't do the same magic. But I answered the call, and all I initially heard was muffled sounds and the crying, and I asked Radha what is the matter.

Radha is my cousin sister, my friend for a life time. She is a middle aged woman and is a wonderful home maker. Now I was trying to make out why she was weeping in hysterically  and fumbling for words 

"You have to come here., now" is what I clearly heard first.

Radha that is impossible you know "it, It is not easy like I was in middle east, family calls and I catch the next flight. This is very far."

"So tell me what is going on? "

"Raji is back home, it is over, everything is over. ..!"

I was silent for some time. It was just a month since Raji got married. She just finished her Residency and the Boy was a cardiologist, though I missed the grant luncheon. ...when heard of the marriage .

I asked Radha "but why. .."

Radha in a very painful voice told "She told the boy she is taken and she is no more a Virgin."

Now I got up from my bed

Don't you remember her classmate and that relationship she had, Radha was slowly calming down while she spoke to me.

I asked Radha, "so the boy left her "!

"Chinnu "Radha told me "you don't know our society, a used woman is worth nothing. ..."

"She asked the boy not to touch and she needs time "

"So what do you expect Radha like our mothers and grandmothers and great grand mothers she must have herself paid to get raped on her nuptial night. .."I suddenly retorted, not able to suppress my rage 

Oh I heard Radha sigh,  who am I talking to. ...It is not US here Chinnu

I told Radha it is not the place, mydear it is the people.

I never knew Raji could do this to us. ..

Radha I asked, "being a woman and above all a mother don't you feel for Raji. Is this body part of some one  an issue of life and death...is body greater than the soul heart and mind. .."

Chinnu. .Radha told and repeatedly kept saying she brought down the family. ..how can we face any one. my daughter is a divorcee

"Radha can I get the boys number and can I know his name..and you must realise Radha. .who made this rule. ...used or fresh, is it vegetable or is it an underwear. ..it is human being Radha. ..patriarchy,  and men has made the societal norms every single norm for their benefit and they get it done through women '

Radha gave me Neeraj s number ,I lit my cigar and watched its fumes.I was remembering certain...pictures that flashed on to my memory, I could hear my husband yell at me you are a dead body, and I could still hear sounds telling me I am frozen...

My body twitching in shame and mind tormented in guilt, a broken hymen tortured my spirit and a cruel society just watched me suffer silently.

Neeraj, I spoke to the boy. .

He sounded young and he seemed least interested.

It is a shame was the opening words 

I asked him, "what if it happens to you and Raji is in your place.?"

A woman is used and is a piece of waste after a relationship is over, she cannot expect, understanding and kind behavior from any one. She is guilty and a cancer in society but what about men, who can have multiple relationships but still is entitled to get a Virgin.

What is this Virginity, some say it is the precious gift to the husband.

What right another being has on another person's body 

How is a woman categorized as being taken or used.

In the cast that I belong matri linear  system prevailed but still women were used as commodity.

I told Neeraj, "You did not love some one or trust them enough to surrender yourself in love to that some one, Raji did and she never knew he was going to leave her."

When it happened to me years back I had no one to hold on to, I became an out cast, I was only able to get second class citizens place at home and I lost my mind.

When a woman love a man it is almost always unconditional she sees in him everything. ..

She gives him body mind soul heart and everything she has to keep the love going. Men are different they often give love to get sex.

"Raji came to your life Neeraj with a traumatized soul and wounded heart , she never would have intended wrong, it is an arranged marriage and may be she wanted you to know her before her body which is already put in great insult, abandoned."

"One man had erred and Neeraj can't you be the man who could give her a second chance. "

"Marriage is not tied around a piece of skin. It is an institution , sacred where love emanates and life evolves."

He was silent and I kept the phone I called Radha and told her to give it all time.

I wanted to tell Radha, I spent sleepless nights staring at the ceiling after my first born came and I could only wonder why I had to confess..and is love real love that demands sacrifices 

I cannot prepare a girl, groom her like a sacrificial animal for a man. I want my daughter to have the authority to chose and never regret any of her choices.

People live with each other like in anq imprisonment when they can end up and start many things afresh , but society says, she is used! SHE is taken! She can't raise her head high

I say no. .

I wish I told Raji not to give up the strength she acquired to stand up for her rights. Not like a fallen flower or broken star she has to wither away. ...

Being used...Do the whole world of a woman exist in that phrase...

No religion would stand up for women, in the shackles of societal norms and the false convictions of morality woman hood is shattered, suppressed, put to shame and it just goes on beyond geographical boundaries. Her likes and dislikes and her right on her own body is still a dream yet to come true