Unseen Bars

35 wise years and yet a lot to count, 2020 was a true eyeopener. I never thought a day would come when humanity will be behind the unseen bars due to the fear of an unknown microbe creating havoc. 

Today, in the open mic club Meera is ready to share some experience. But it was one that no one ever thought of.

"No, that's not my story, about the COVID and the widespread lockdown, but it is what it actually showed me." continued Meera.

Leaving my dreams behind, I got married a few years back and moved to an entirely new city with new goals and hopes. Unlike any other girl, I was just looking for support, but I do not know where I went wrong. 

The man whom I married was perfect. Knowledgeable, successful, open-minded, and whatnot, at least that is what I thought before. But this lockdown turned my dreams into a nightmare. A time that made me realise the mistakes I made but unfortunately, it was hard to turn back now.

I underlined all the vital to-do task lists while trying to make everyone happy, only to find that I am not only the neglected daughter but a neglected wife as well. Trying hard to escape reality, I started afresh with new budding hope every day, ready to be crushed by the debit night after night.

Tired, exhausted, and shattered, I tried to seek help from my parents and gathered all the courage to call them and explain. What was I thinking then, actually? I was wrong as I was misjudged and guided to adjust; as for them, I was just over-reacting.

Was I really? Well, I have no answer for it till day.

I loved journaling and writing everything in my diary, the first thing before my husband woke up. Locked in a small roomed house, this was the only thing I could do. 

Finally, the lockdown was over, but my nightmare was not. Work from home fueled the devil the whole day for having a perfect marital nightmare at night. This was not the first time, but now it was hard for me to live this horror.

But whom to talk to? Is there anyone who will actually listen and not laugh at this?

A lot of questions were there, but I disagreed with stopping. So, I contacted my friend and told her everything. 9 months of pain, violence, denial, and continuous scratching has left my soul to bleed. I do not know how much more I can bear.

A spark of hope was there; she tried to bring my parents to agree that I was not lying. But my family mocked me with an open heart and said, "Aisi baatein mat Karo, log kya kahenge. Aisa kuch nahi hota, kabhi to adjust karo." Well, it was settled; there was no way out. 

That day I regretted being a woman, a daughter, and a wife.

"Enough was enough; I am done with this abuse," Meera said to herself. She called her friend to help her reach the police and end this once for all.

Finally, I was not scared of society or the people around me anymore. I do not care if my own family thinks I am maniac. I want this nightmare to end.

My parents are still in denial and angry. I failed to prove to them that I was right. 

Yes, there is a thing called marital rape. Yes, it is a punishable crime. And No means No, no matter what the relation, condition, situation is.

Locked behind the unseen bars for 1 year, I never thought to be alive to share this. But yet, I am here alive, working, and fulfilling my dreams, leaving back the dark days. 

Meera finally let the horror of her life out today. Yes, it is hard, but this is not impossible.

The scars will be there, the pain is not easy to let go of, but I knew I had two options; either suffer and die or fight and survive.



I choose the hard one.