Time To Move On
Time To Move On
Although it was midnight, I heard the sound of footsteps approaching our house. I opened the door to reveal my brother. I stared at him with a pounding heart, I studied the almost foreign features of the same brother who had left home never to look back because of a foolish fight years ago.
At only eighteen I had forgotten what it meant to love, with a deceased father, a workaholic of a mother, and a little brother who would never know the meaning of family I was stuck between lonely nights staying up thinking about my begrudging past and wondering about my future.
Alexander my brother had walked out on my family several years ago, he chose freedom over family he wanted to drop out of college and pursue his love for music, my father as stubborn as always had refused, Alexander left not saying one goodbye to my mother or even my brother and me, we were very close and at that moment my whole world shattered
“Alexander?” I asked in a soft voice his cold blue eyes snapped to my hazel ones. I felt nostalgic as I gazed upon his blue eyes the same ones that used to hold affection. “Sabrina” he stated simply his face blank emotionless. Bitter memories made their way to my mind, the screaming fights, the tears, my eyes were now glassy as I felt the familiar dull ache make its presence in my broken heart.
“What are you doing up so late?” he asked as if nothing had happened as if he hadn’t just turned up after years. Ignoring his question, I asked my own “what do want? What brings you here brother?” I asked in a clipped tone. His eyes softened as he gazed at me, “I’m here to make amends” he said, my eyes widened as my jaw hit the floor, he wanted to make things, right? He believed he could mend something that is already broken?
I scoffed “you think I’ll accept your pitiful apology?” his angular face contorted into a look of hurt. Just as he is about to open his mouth to talk, I interrupt him, “you show up here thinking that Ill forgive you? Do you know what I’ve been through?” I said the last part in a whisper afraid that my shaky voice would give away my sadness I had to stay strong. “Brina- “I flinched at the pet name he used to call me “You have to understand I had my reasons but I promise you I never meant to hurt you and father…” he trailed off knowing full well the pain and anguish I would feel.
“Listen I don’t have the energy to deal with this you show up at our doorstep at midnight suddenly claiming that you want to make things right, have you ever considered the consequences? Because I’m not that vulnerable fourteen-year-old sister anymore” I finished with a heavy sigh “now if you will excuse me I have to go sleep and I know for one thing you have a concert tomorrow” with that I proceeded to close the door but a heavy foot wedged its way into the doorway, I looked up to a very furious Alexander, his jaw was clenched his face red with rage, he raked a hand through his ice blonde hair, frustration and anger wrote across his face.
“Please let me in let’s talk this out” he pleaded. I sighed searching his face for any insincerity, I bit my tongue trying to restrain myself from saying anything I would regret later, I opened the door for him to enter. He strode in looking around the place he once used to call home, he made his way to our cramped living room and sat down on our brown tattered couch, I made my way and sat on the armchair that once used to be occupied by my father, I leaned in closing my eyes as I breathed in my father's familiar scent silently begging him for courage.
“Where’s mom?” he asked quietly I opened my eyes as rage washed over me, I fisted my shirt trying to control my anger, Alexander noticing this answered “at work I suppose, she never left that habit that’s sad,” he said quietly all I could do was nod thinking about my poor excuse for a mother.
“ I’m sorry
I know it's not enough I know you must think of me as just some arrogant brother that left his family for fame but I just could not take it anymore, your right your not my baby sister anymore but I still love you and I just couldn’t stay away, I’ve held a grudge against father for too long and realized I was involuntarily holding the grudge against my whole family, I admit I was young and naïve and it hurt me deeply to see that my father didn’t support my dreams I knew he loved me and cared about me I just wasn’t ready but knowing what today is I want to change this its what father would have wanted”
I blinked back the tears threatening to spill at any moment, today was my father’s death anniversary, the day the drunk driver decided my loving father's fate, I spent the whole day at his grave crying my eyes out, my father was my rock whenever I was sad he would take me in his arms and whisper sweet things and I knew that he would have wanted me to get back together with my brother fill that empty void in my life give my little brother a chance to experience family, possibly get my mother to stop drowning herself in work.
I looked at Alexander, his head was in hands over the years he had managed to make a name for himself, become famous, people all around the world adored him he had everything, I used to think to myself he never needed us, I used to recite to myself over and over again but looking at the broken boy sitting Infront of me I knew I had been wrong.
I made my way over to him, he looked up tears brimming his eyes, I enveloped him into a hug my hands wrapping around his torso, his lips parted in surprise, “I forgive you” I said. His face lit up like a boy on Christmas we stayed there not worrying about the past or the future but staying like that is present.