The Soft Playlist

Youngru was the happiest person when it is raining. She wanted to dance, act crazy, sing songs also at the time she has the mood to read her favorite book with a combination of a tea or having a cup of noodles. Youngru started her playlist songs. It was really soothing and going well with the rainy climate. In the middle of vibe she found a diary lying on the computer table. A diary knows all of her secrets. Secrets are meant for secrets. She opened and go through the pages. written all of her memorable life moments. She actually had a worst past account in her life bank which she withdrawn all of her bank balance and emptied the account. Lot of thoughts were flashing through her mind. Not really ready but anyway took a deep breath and decided to read.

She folded the corner of the page to move to the next page. It was all written about one person and found old days were such a beautiful. The person really wished to stay with everyone. Youngru's grand mother. It was such a hard time for her in order to survive without her grandmother and trying to normalize her life as before. Some kind of relationships are hard to forget and some will leave a scar on your heart and this relationship was not a happy ending. People will live, people will die but when people we are fond of dies all of a sudden, how it feels for the loved one's. How they manage to live their life without them, these were the questions Youngru raised to herself.

A very deep, strong bond with grandmother and nothing gonna change the bond of those two. She always wanted to live with her. As every parents had a little jealous especially mother's because sometimes she felt like youngru was giving all of her love to grandmother but that was fine anyway. Youngru was a girl with love in excess for her grandma.

Youngru's grandmother was really afraid of her cause she wants to sit on her lap and gives a very very tight hug and a thousand watts power kiss. She reminisced it was the best time in her life. Now Youngru changed a lot. She can't laugh like before, can't make fun as before, always feels like she is in a haunted place where she can't find her grandmother. People won't change themselves circumstances make them another person. She really hates the word death. A word that doesn't give back your loved ones. It was like the Nuclear bomb attack in Hiroshima and Nagasaki; not the people died but the people existed and suffered till their end. A worst kind of traumatic event. Youngru was a girl who shared everything to her grandmother more than her mother. "That was not really a crime to share more things to someone, it's only to my grandmother" she says. Time has passed half of the pages in the diary and she continued reading. "The best part of living with my grandma is the sleep over. She doesn't allow me to sleep with her.

She is afraid that I will take out that thousand watt super power but however that extra five minute tricks goes till dawn". Youngru was wiping her tears that rolled down through her cheeks and slowed to the neck. She looked at grandma's frame in her room a while after started crying, crying her eyes out. Crying for someone who doesn't come back was such a stupid thing for others but for Youngru that's the only thing she was able to do. She was not able to sleep, not able to think and Afterall not able to live. Only thing she can do was cry. Cry whenever she is sad. Youngru stopped the soft playlist. Ten more pages left to complete. Does not even think that she would become like this .It's been one year. She is depressed now. A person who can't get over sadness or sadness due to death of a really loved one can cause a disorder called depression. She is really in the primary stage so that it is not worse and herself can pull out of this.She started writing stories mainly poems in order to get out of this state.

 April, the month she never forgets in her life, the month in which she started hating god ,her life had become upside down. "I really begged to god to save my grandma, please save god, I really want her back in my life" Youngru retained her words but realized all it was like a vain attempt.

The rain has come to an end, the bewitching scenery after the rain was something appreciable to the nature. After completing the diary Youngru felt a kind of peace, a peace that Jean Val Jean got after nineteen years of imprisonment.

Youngru sat beside the wall looking at the cotton sky and there were a flock of birds flying towards their home.