The New Me

I lost my father when I was 10 months old and then I had an impassive stepfather, who was almost nonexistent on most days. I always felt a void; 'absence of good man's love' my mother always consoled me that one day I would get a compassionate and benevolent husband; I believed that.

When I was 14 years old, a lot of boys started giving me attention, I was beguiled. I thought they were there to fill up that vacuum which my father and stepfather created, I believed they were embellishing my cavernous ambiance with their presence. I had many casual relationships with seemingly 'chivalrous guys', having one new, every other week, a tad too frivolous. This was not enough, I was coquettish and flirted with a good many boys on social media. My mother and loved ones tried explaining to me, the terrible consequences but I turned a deaf ear and continued my idiocy. My lunacy seemed irrevocable.

My conscience was on the verge of shattering; when one day while surfing the internet, I came across an article on the Kargil War. My doddering conscience saw A Ray of Light. The tales of utmost dedication and gallantry rekindled my innermost morals which were in deep slumber for a good many days. Among all the brave hearts, the story of Param Vir Chakra awardee Captain Manoj Kumar Pandey intrigued me, stimulating each of my veins with a sense of pride.

I started reading about him incessantly, in journals, articles, books, and every possible source of information. I was extremely inspired by him, he was 24 when he paid the supreme sacrifice for his country, he was one of the pioneers of establishing control over the intruders. He was a young officer of the 1/11 Gorkha Rifles he fearlessly participated in a series of bold attacks at Khalubar, Kargil. He attacked two enemy bunkers killing a handsome number of enemies while clearing the third bunker, he was injured on the shoulder and legs by enemy fire but he was unabashed and was determined, he did not pay any heeds to his grievous injuries. He headed towards the fourth bunker, he succeeded in destroying it with a grenade but then he sustained a medium machine gun burst on his forehead, virtually point-blank range, he succumbed to his injuries and received the Param Vir Chakra posthumously, the highest gallantry award of the country, even while writing about him I have a blared visage, moist eyes and experiencing gooseflesh.

His great tales of valor led me to a state of introspection. A man gave up one's life for our country and here I was wasting my time on stupidity and was becoming an evil citizen of my country with my erroneous deeds. That day I had a metamorphosis and decided to dedicate my life for the betterment of my country and to do my utmost in helping the needy, I promised myself never to be frivolous and be humble in life. I even deleted social media accounts and focused on my studies so that I grow up to become a good and responsible citizen of my country. I reverted back to the days of innocence and took up writing once again which was boiled down to flames at that bad period of time. I even started telling stories of soldiers, about their heroism to people, to inspire them. Indulging my time in all these I didn't feel that void anymore. I was genuinely very happy in life.

The article on Kargil War was serendipitous for me and this Legend in Manoj Kumar Pandey changed my entire outlook on life He not only received the Param Vir Chakra posthumously but also inspired an extremely blasphemous girl to leave her bad habits, even after about nineteen years of his death. I would strive hard to follow his morals and principles.

Thank you legend for the rebirth of this 'New Me'. Bless us and our nation. Even if I don't make it to the defense forces I promise to serve my nation in every possible way.