The Girl Whom I Still Love

My heart was stolen by a girl, who lived in an alley across from my house, It was a majestic moment when I first saw her, I remembered exactly everything of that moment. 

As usual, I was returning back from college, when my eyes landed on her, she was sitting on a pavement with a gloomy face, staring at the front road.

As if waiting for someone, I was getting late for work. So I ignored her & walked straight home. Yet my heart & mind were in a continuous quarrel and finally, my heart won by the counterattack of emotions.

I dropped my bag near the door and ran as fast as I could to that spot, however, she was gone. 

My heart scolded my brain for missing such a beautiful opportunity. I looked back at the spot & sighed deeply, I wish I could turn back the time. 

The next day again, exactly the same happened, but instead of ignoring her, I sat on a bench & started watching her closely.

She was indeed beautiful with long black hair like ebony & dazzling round eyes.

People started watching me with their disdainful eyes. So I removed my eyes from her & thought to grab a newspaper from a local store to continue my search.

Yet it was my loss again, as the moment I returned back, she was gone.

But this time, I felt happy as I was finally able to capture her beauty in my heart.

Now instead of writing notes in college, I would draw her face, though my drawing skills are not that good, still it was enough to pinpoint the outlines correctly.

As the days passed by, it became my favorite hobby to watch her from distance. Although my heart would always push me to move forward & ask her the reason "why she is here", but my mind would hold me back by the fear of rejection. 

I was trapped in a dilemma whenever I see her. Still, after a week I finally boost my courage to infinity & walked near her, I was about to open my mouth when she looked at me with her fierce gaze.

I was spellbound & couldn't utter a word, she stomped her feet hard on the ground and walked away.

I looked back at her with a bright smile on my face, as this time she looked back at me. I felt on cloud 9, I ran straight to my home and entered my room and danced like a maniac until my boss text brought me back.

My friend Nick was elated seeing me like this and forced me for the reason, I told him the detail and he was like, cool dude was she "hot". 

"Shut up, man! I furiously glared at her.

She was like a magical piece of work as if a painter's imagination came true, I replied back with a smile.

Her thoughts made me relax !!"

"My friend you are in love, "Mike commented.

His words echoed in my ear and my mind started blinking with questions, it was love? Or an attraction! , I couldn't possibly guess the answer, but one thing I know was, that one day I will tell her how I feel .

My bad luck has started, I was not able to see her anymore as if she has sensed my aura near her, days passed by & I couldn't even take a single glance at her.

I started checking the spot day & night on regular basis, still no result. As if she has vanished in thin air!

My mind was gripping me hard with the words "move on, focus on your studies " and he was winning, as my heart was feeling weak and lonely.

To remove my focus from her, I started concentrating on my studies & work more. It was enough to keep me occupied, still, her memories entangle my heart in dreams.

On one fine day, when I was walking to the nearby store, I saw her again in a red and black striped shirt with a high ponytail.

I was enchanted with her beauty, my heart was beating like hell, I stood there like a lost person. Soon my inner voice commented, "it's your chance " and I knew exactly what it meant.

I quietly followed her like a puppy, keeping a peaceful distance. She entered an alley near my house & disappeared into the last corner house.

This time my heart was jumping with the joy of seeing her again & secondly that the house might be her home.

From the next day onwards I started sitting on the stair outside my door for her. Sometimes with pure luck or coincidence, I could able to see her once or thrice in a week.

My mind was giving me a constant check about talking with her, yet her fierce eyes will make my stomach churn and I would lose my sense of speaking.

One day when I was at the store, the ladies were talking about someone behind my back & unwillingly my ears had to listen to their continuous chattering. I was sulking in the corner, when the girl of my dreams appeared in the store & i lost my senses.

The things in.my hand slipped away.

The bump from the back lady brought me back and I bend down to pick things when I heard " look she is here, the one I'm talking about " the woman behind my back said to another.

My heartfelt heavy, realizing "what I have done ", I quickly paid the bills and sprint towards my home. 

After shutting my room's door, I sat down on the floor remembering the conversation " she is a poor girl, her drunk father beats her every now and then, that's why she spent most of her time sitting on roads or park or the place she could hide. She could barely manage to eat, as she has to work hard to earn money for her mother's illness."

These words are piercing my heart with thorns and I was cursing myself for snatching her peace outside also.

That's why she looked depressed every time I saw her, I couldn't even imagine the pain behind that eyes. 

I felt bad for her, if I could do anything to vanish her sadness I would.

"Yes, you can stop following her, let her live in peace, she already has enough to deal with," my brain advised.

The advice was hard to maintain, but it was the right thing, so I promised myself, no matter what, I will not follow her from now on.

Days passed by and I stopped looking at her, despite the pain my heart felt.

 I was returning back from home when my old friend invited me for dinner. At dimner table, an idea struck my head.

From the next day with my savings, I will buy extra chocolate or biscuit or sandwich, etc, whatever I could afford & with a little note of positive words, I started delivering it to her, either myself or with help of neighbor kids.

It's hard to find her on somedays & on other days it's a piece of cake.

Park is her favorite spot nowadays, so I would make sure the things deliver safely to her.

First, she started ignoring, however, due to continuous bugging from little kids, she started accepting it & as soon as kids run away she would keep the things back & only take the small notes with her.

My heart felt relieved seeing her reading that note & soon she started leaving a note for me too.

From few words on a note to a paragraph we started bonding with each other. She took her time opening her heart, still, when she opened it, I realised how pain & sorrow has taken their place in her heart, covering all other emotions.

Finally, she would now happily accept letters and the food. Seeing her cherry smile, I would sometimes cook food for her or sneak one of my mother's favourite dishes for her.

I was fortunate to see her daily from a distance & it was enough for me. My heart was satisfied with a beam of pleasure on her face.

It went on like this for few more weeks, when one bright sunny morning she knocked on my door with a box of chocolates. I was still sleepy at the time & seeing her at my door, I felt speechless like a robot without a command.

My eyes got wider and my mouth dropped open, then my mind added "silly, it must be your imagination again." I slapped my face hard to clear my imagination.

Yet, it was of no use, she was still in front of me smiling bright & clear with blue rugged jeans and a black shirt.

I was about to faint seeing her this close when she hugged me tight and whispered, "thanks for bringing joy back to my life."

Tears welled up in my eyes of happiness, I cried holding her in my embrace. She too joined me in crying.

We are lost in each - other when my mom's yelling brought us back. I was embarrassed, however, she gave me a smile and uttered, be quick.

I closed the door & climbed back to my room, got ready in seconds, then ran back outside.

She holded my hand tightly & led me to the bench where she would sit often, she told me that she knew from before that it was me. I felt explosions of happiness in my blood.

I finally gathered my courage and blurted out my feelings to her, she laughed at my silliness then gladly accepted it.

We both went on dates & would often spend time together.

After a year I graduated from university and got a decent job in my hand, she too finally geared up the courage to move out of that house with her mother to live in peace.

After settling everything up, we got married & had two little munchkin's.

This is exactly how I met my wife, the girl who stole my heart on our first meeting. The girl whom I still love and would continue to do so.

                      -