TALK OF THE STARS

"Even a speck of love should not go unappreciated, because, as Rumi said, love is the water of life."

- Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love

Aren't you hungry? Shall I get you some Cupcakes? Or a Muffin? Anything for you darling. I am at your service this evening. And you know what? Let me tell you something. You look so handsome today! Or actually what word should I be using? Well! or is it my hearts delight that's making this evening so beautiful today? She looked at the sun setting in the distant horizon throwing crimson hues all around. Your presence has added beauty to the ambience around. You are the light of the first rays of the morning sun. What can I give you more than the heart that is filled with immense love for you? Thus, she proposed Arya. It was his birthday. Her wishes were a perfect delight for him that evening.

 Arya, it's been five minutes now. I am at your knees. Will you say 'yes'? Arya smiled, a smile that is so familiar to her. He often does it when they walk around the Nehru Park located near their college in Guwahati during the evening hours. Cheerfully she would tuck his sleeves pulling him closer. Most of the times it was Arya who would plant a kiss on her cheeks and like a newlywed bride she would blush. Those were the moments from their three years in college during graduation together.

Arya held her up and hugged her. He then took her in his lap and walked for some time and then dropped her down. It was as if the lone chair in the lawn of the park they visited almost every day after their 5.30 p.m. classes was waiting for them. It was Phagun. Everywhere around the park the simul trees wore a red hue. The mellifluous voice of different birds like Yellow-footed green pigeon, Mynah, Woodpecker etc. could be heard. They were seen jumping from one branch of a big Simul tree to another. Down below it seemed that the flowers had laid carpets of red hues around. They knew not how many hours passed like that. Arya delighted Rim bringing his childhood memories like the beauty of the Ranganadi river, the days he spent running in the mustard fields playing with his friends, catching fishes during evening and many others. Rim listened in awe.

It was the year 2002 when she met Arya for the first time in Guwahati. A tall stout handsome guy exactly like the one she always dreamed of to spend her life with all those qualities she ever imagined that would be in her partner. Back in college she was quite studious and sincere. Her teachers praised her many a times for doing well in her studies. She took Zoology honors in college. Arya was from the Botany department. They used to have pass course classes together. Often, they would meet at the afternoon break. Rim knew she had started developing a strange connection with this person that she so much loved to spend time with. Their topics of discussion would range from topics Rim loved the most-books, travels, movies, topics surrounding politics and so many others. She was at her best when with Arya during those days. Sometimes when they had no classes in the afternoon hours, they would explore the places in and around their college. Those were for Rim the best days of her life. She like dancing a lot. She would wear the beautiful mekhela sadar gifted by Arya on her birthday and would flaunt them before her friends back then in her college. They participated in the college week together. She would rarely call by his name and would pull his cheek bringing him closer and plant a kiss calling him 'Senai'. They participated in so many competitions together. After college both went to study in the same university together. It was in such a way that they got to spend two more years together creating some beautiful memories. He would often make beautiful flower garlands for her to look the prettiest in her every traditional attire, practice for hours in the university auditorium for different cultural events, guide her in the dance steps and she would listen to him smiling the cutest smile.

Days passed by and it was time for her to part with him. He went back to his hometown. The five years they spent together was for Rim the best days of her youthful days. Rim bade goodbye to Arya at the Kamakhya railway station and got ready for the home bound journey. She had the best of memories with him together. He taught her how to enjoy the little moments, appreciate beauty, flutter like a butterfly and above all to fly.

Arya never said 'yes' to her proposal. When he left her at the Kamakhya railway station, he said he had lot of responsibilities, and that life isn't quite easy back at his home place. She said nothing. All she could do her heart knew was to live the rest of her life cherishing the memories that they had together and live with the strength and courage that he had built in her and be her best in the things she loved doing. He was the lone bread earner in the family of five. Ravaged by the monsoonal floods the family had to keep shifting from one place to other back in his home village in Lakhimpur district of Assam. His childhood went spending working in the mustard fields of other people, helping his father in fishing and sometimes sitting with his mother when she would be busy weaving.

Dearest Arya,

I hope and pray that this letter finds you safe and in the best of your health. It is raining heavily outside. I could hear the rain drops playing in the roof tops. It's been a long time that it is raining today. If you were here, I would have preferred going with you on a walk, sip a cup of coffee. Yeah, that's a dream now. Half a dream and few memories. Yet I find it delightful thinking about the days when you were by my side. You know it's been long. Seems like ages. I crave to put my head in your shoulders, dance with you in the rain. You know long have I stopped using the umbrella that was my hearts delight. The places where I had the best of memories with you seems like sharp needles piercing my heart making blood ooze. Your homecoming this Phagun is a reason for me to celebrate with all the love I have treasured only for you. Come let's merge together in the madness of Phagun. I want to show you what a carpet the simul flowers, the Kanchan in white and pink hues have made in the ground in front of my reading room, show you how the Parakeets, the Mynah bird and the Yellow-footed green pigeon is having delight in the red blooms of the lone Simul tree at my courtyard. She stopped to have her dinner and laid down in her bed. When she woke up, she knew not that it has been so late. She saw the wall clock. It was 2.45 a.m. She woke up from the bed and came to her reading room. 

She opened the door of her reading room. The lone paper lay scattered amidst a pile of white. She does this every time. At one go she would take ten A4 sheets and sit to write a letter for him. Then she would write for some time, make a roll and throw it in one corner of her room.

She started.

Dear Arya. It was past 3 a.m. when Rim put the letter in the envelope written for her love Arya. Her eyes were drooping. She was tired from the day's work. She knew perfectly well that she was not going to post the letter that she had written. This has been the same thing she has been doing since the last five years. Every night before Valentine Day she would write one letter and keep it in an envelope without sending it the next day. The piles of envelope lay in one of the Wardrobe at one end of her reading room.

She ended - I long for the days when we were together. Wherever you are, may you be blessed by the sweet Lord Divine.

                                                                                         Happy Valentine Day !

In love with you forever.

                                                                                                             Yours

                                                                                                             Basket of golden daffodils.

                                                                                                            

She knew not when she would get to see him again and what life plans would be. Her life seemed more like routine caught between home and job responsibilities, travelling places, meeting people working in different research institutes, working towards policy formulation and many other. But often during lonely evenings opening the only window of her reading room she would see the Saptarishi and the stars in the Orion belt, talk with them, take a paper jot down few lines of love, and with all the sweetness of her heart, roll it, put one ribbon and keep it in a glass bottle and leave it in her wardrobe believing that her silent prayers for her love reaches the stars and she smiles looking back at them. Life seemed to be at crossroads for her plunging her into the depth of a heart where she experiences immensity, where she found a reason to smile, to thrive, to breath, to smile, to soar higher and higher touching the skies, dance amidst the fluffy clouds, appreciate the gift of life and live life to the fullest with the memories of the person that she had always kept in her prayers, the memories, moments and dreams. Yet, every time she went to the same lone bench in the park whenever she visited Nehru Park in Guwahati with the hope that may be the guy sitting in the bench wearing a blue shirt and a white pant would stand up and come running to her to give her the most beautiful Gajra she had ever seen, dance with her in the rain, walk holding her hands amidst the greens, hold her tight and say 'Don't worry Dulcinea, everything will be all right. Iam with you'. That tenderness and warmth of his heart and a voice so sweet that pulled at her heartstrings was for her existence greatest delight. For Rim it all seemed like yesterday. Hallucinations became beautiful to her because that brought her closer to the man of her life and memories became a profound sense of joy and delight.

(To all the tales of Unrequited love, celebrating the season of fulfillment. Need not every story have a perfect ending but if we learn to take delight in the cute little moments with the people that become our hearts delight life becomes beautiful.)