Short Story-Comedy- The Thief’s Holiday

DISCLAIMER

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents in this Story are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and unintentional.

I looked at my husband Nishant who was sprawled magnificently on the couch of the living room watching the live cricket match and I relaxed. 

It was his day off!

The day when he did nothing but just parked himself on the comfy sofa of our living room, watching cricket faithfully and with unadulterated zeal and passion.

And I relaxed.

And went on with my household chores, which were many and endless.

"Out!" shouted my husband in distress and I knew how miserable he must be.

Naturally, as I had anticipated, he made a strong second peg and gulped it down almost instantaneously, for what could be better than a strong gulp of whiskey to drown one's tension and grief, all at the same time?

The drink over, I saw him once again slouching and slumping in his favourite position on the sofa and knew that he will be in this position throughout the day, come whatever may, for he certainly did not know of a better way of watching a thrilling cricket match, than this!

Lying down either on the sofa or the carpet surrounded by velvet pillows and of course beer cans and glasses of rum and whiskey or whatever strong that he could lay his hands on at that moment, eyes constantly glued to the LCD TV, afraid even to blink and miss a shot or a Yorker, he would continue in this almost-dormant, latent and lazy position throughout the one-day cricket match, sometimes alone and sometimes in the company of his dear friends, who were his confidant and colleagues, all rolled into one.

When he had his buddies over in our house to watch cricket matches, he could not sprawl on the sofa, but he would still manage to laze and loaf around in a slumping, idling position throughout the day.

Time and again, he looked at the wall clock opposite him and a look of impatience spread on his face, which was already tense, due to the pathetic score of our team. I could read his look, having been married to him for over three years, and knew that he was expecting his bunch of friends home.

This meant that they must have planned to watch the cricket match together, creating lots of noise and hullaballoo and uproar in the process, much like kids do on their picnics or vacations.

The perfect concept of vacation for Nishant was neither lounging around the pool nor on the beach. It was merely spreading out on the sofa or the carpet and watching a live cricket match, uninterruptedly throughout the day, getting up only when unavoidable. Like to answer nature's call, to grab a bite, and of course, to drink more!

Tandoori Chicken!

That was his only other weakness and when his two weaknesses came together, watching an exciting live cricket match and eating tandoori chicken, it was a dream come true for him!

I never minded his eating tandoori chicken or his hanging out with friends………….but drinking.... 'I ought to object to that' my close friend Reema had once said to me.

I had smiled and simply said "I don't mind him spending his entire day confined inside our home and even drinking, because that will prevent his other wicked activity…….." and I had almost stopped and had added hastily, "Of eating and drinking in malls and pubs and watching cricket, which will cost more".

Reema had blinked and it was evident that she had not understood the complete logic behind it.

The doorbell rang and Nishant almost sprang out of his dormant position to receive his work-buddies, all of them die-hard cricket fans and heavy drinkers, like him. No wonder they gelled together so perfectly that at times, it was difficult to sort out one from the other. This uniqueness surely helped them in their profession and no wonder they performed amicably and harmoniously as a team.

Within minutes, my small flat was flooded with a group of a loud, brash and cheerful gang, who had burst in, well-equipped with more beer and rum and drinks and they had even bought a monstrously huge parcel of Tandoori chicken that would see them throughout the one-day cricket match!

I knew what to expect next!

The entire flat would be bombarded with loud shouts and claps and applauds and comments (sometimes crude and cruel and sometimes encouraging and hopeful) and though, they were just a bunch of five guys, they certainly had the lung power, enthusiasm and gusto of a thousand! Animated comments by these self-styled experts, thumping of the centre table as a side-effect of exuberance, whistling and cheering at decibels that crossed all limits of sound pollution, but strangely seemed to bother no one, would be the norm. Throughout the day!

My mother, who did not like the prospect of her son-in-law, spread unceremoniously on the sofa, doing nothing throughout the day but just drinking and watching cricket, while I, her daughter, did all the household chores, had told me to ask Nishant to overcome this addiction, for it can threaten our marriage.

I had promised to sort out this issue, but deep down, I knew that whenever Nishant spent a day inside the home, drinking and doing nothing, I felt totally at peace and truly happy and blessed!

Once again, as I saw my husband drinking and watching cricket with his buddies, I felt happy and tranquil like never before as I remembered the sinking feeling that I used to get whenever my husband used to venture out of the house.

The fact that Nishant was at home, drinking and doing nothing gave me a sense of contentment and relief, like no other!

"I just love cricket matches," said his first colleague-cum-friend "That is the only day when we do not go out and work"

"Yeah! It is our holiday!" exclaimed Nishant with gusto and the others joined in a spontaneous rapture and euphoria.

"On other days, we break out neck doing such risky work and no one even appreciates us for our extraordinary skills and timings" grumbled the second colleague-cum-friend.

"Blessed are those who have a 9-to-5 job. At least they get Sunday as an official holiday!" cried the third colleague-cum-friend, wallowing in jealousy.

Nishant and his gang agreed spontaneously, pathetically, and with sufficient self-pity.

"We work even on Sundays and other public holidays and get no appreciation!" complained Nishant bitterly and the others agreed with him in a spontaneous rapture and chorus.

"We should also have a day off! After all, we are also hard-working, determined individuals!" exclaimed the fourth colleague-cum-friend with unabashed zeal and the others agreed with him in a spontaneous rapture and elation.

"This is our day-off…………..our official holiday!" claimed Nishant with triumph, and his colleagues cheered him boisterously, gulping their drinks noisily and clinking their beer bottles exuberantly, blaring and hooting and whistling copiously and deafeningly, till their lungs burst!

The sight of Nishant and his colleagues-cum-buddies, holed up in our drawing-room, and doing nothing throughout the day, except watching cricket and drinking heavily, relaxed me more than ever…………..as I realized that today, was going to be a holiday for the cricket-crazy Nishant and his buddies, who were a team of professional thieves!!