She

Yawning loudly, I looked outside the window. The sun, tired from a long day of work, was gradually returning to his slumber. The birds waving goodbye to him flew towards their nest. Losing myself to this beauty was a luxury I couldn't afford right now. I sighed and glanced at my history textbook before me. Nothing changed. It looked as boring as usual. Slowly, I rolled my eyes towards the door beside me and saw her. She was still standing there. Her pale white skin making a perfect contrast against her black dress and her long black hair, which were tied in a neat and long single pony. Her image though was blurred. One could easily see through her. Her cold and dead eyes still trying to boar inside me. I sighed yet again. 

It has been a month since she first appeared before me. Obviously, I was scared when I first saw her. Anxiety and fear took hold of me for the first 2 weeks. Everywhere I went, she was there, staring with those same cold dead eyes. It didn't matter if I was alone or surrounded by friends, family, or classmates. She still stood near me, staring at me yet again. Surprisingly (not), only I could see her. I wanted to tell my parents about this, but I knew that telling this story will only lead to one thing. My parents would just look at me with those pathetic, pitiful, and sympathetic eyes. I hate those eyes. So I kept quiet about it. After 2 weeks, I got used to her standing and staring around me. I ignored her and stopped bothering myself.

I rolled my eyes back to the history textbook. Still, nothing changed. But with the tests coming, I reluctantly dove into the magnificently boring history of Mughals and Sultans.

Little did I know that that day was going to be so significant. After having a hearty dinner, I hurried back to the comfort of my bed. Usually, when I sleep, she just sits on my desk and stares at me. But that day when I laid down and looked at the desk, she was not there. Instead, she was sleeping beside me, staring at me. I gasped loudly and jumped from my bed. She slowly rose and was still trying to boar inside me with her eyes. 

"What are you trying to do? Getaway." I told her.

"Why do you ignore me?" She asked monotonously. It was the first time she spoke. Her voice was similar to mine but a lot shriller.

"So you can speak huh? And as for your question, the answer is because I don't know you." I replied plainly.

"You know me. We have lived for a long time, it is you who recently started noticing me. Despite noticing my presence, you wouldn't talk to me. Why so?"

"I don't know you. We haven't been living together. You are nothing. Just a stupid image of my stupid mind." I fumed and reached for the door beside me. But within a blink, she was standing between me and the door. It was so sudden that I fell back in astonishment.

"No! I am not an image of your mind. I am real." She said calmly. 

I took the book lying beside me and threw it at her. It went through her. 

"See! You are not real! You are not at all REAL. You are nothing, but just a figment of my stupid imagination. You are nothing but a result of my Schizophrenia. You are nothing but living proof of my ailment. You are nothing more than that and nothing less than that. Got it?" I screamed at the top of my voice. My eyes wet. There was a brief silence, but then I heard hurried steps approaching my room. Then someone started banging on my door. It was my father. He was concerned. Even though he was on the other side of that door, I could see those pitiful eyes looking down on me.

"Everything is fine. Please leave me alone." I retorted angrily. The banging stopped.

She slowly walked towards me and sat down. Her eyes finally able to boar into my poor and weak soul. 

"You have been through a lot. But unlike other images you see, I am not fake. I am real. I am here."

"How can I believe you? Almost every image I saw said that to me. How am I supposed to believe that you are real? You are similar to every one of them. Fake and trouble for me." I replied trying to hold back my tears.

She gently smiled. It was the first time she ever smiled. 

"Of course you know me. We are one and the same." She said and slid her hand across my cheek. She continued

"You know me because I go by the name....." And she slowly whispered her name into my ears. The tears which I have been holding back for a while started flooding down my eyes.

"Of course, I know you. I know you. I know you. You are terrible. You are frightening. You are something that I wanted to avoid for a long time. I ignored you even though I was feeling you looming over me. I don't know what to do?" I sobbed.

"Then why don't you befriend me?" She asked. Her demeanor still calm and gentle. 

"People say you are bad. And to be honest, you are. When you loom around me, all I feel is anxiety, fear, and sadness. Everything seems dark and I feel lost."

"That's why you should befriend me, you will be lost in the dark, but it won't scare you anymore. Anxiety, fear, and sadness will also lose their way in that dark." And she smiled and stretched her hand out towards me.

I held her hand. She slowly stood up and her dark black dress transformed into a pure and plain yet beautiful white frock. She dragged me to my bed still looking deep into my eyes. 

We both laid down and then resting my head on her bosom, I dove into the world of dreams.

I stopped ignoring her. I always talk and take care of her. My parents still look at me with those eyes, their sympathy and pitifulness getting intense day by day, but I don't care. My friends distanced themselves from me. They started calling me weird names, teased me, and even bullied me, but I don't care. Due to all this, her image became clearer and clearer. The fact that she is with me at all times makes me happy. My parents forced me to consult a therapist. The therapist tried to convince me that this is all a figment of my imagination. 

But I don't know. Maybe it is, maybe it is not, but her name sounds so familiar. Something that I have been feeling for a long time. I don't care if she doesn't exist in real life, but I do know she exists within me. Within my heart. 

Oh, I never mentioned her name did I? She goes by the name 'Solitude'.

And today I am gonna visit her friend. What was her name again? Yeah, she goes by the name 'Death'. She said that Death is beautiful. But I don't care. I love her. As long as I am with her, I am ready to meet anyone.