Second Marriage

Susan dreamt of the accident again. Her friend Ronald had bought a new car. He and his wife, Christine insisted that they join them for a long drive. In her dream, she saw them sitting in the car. Ronald was behind the wheel with Christine sitting beside him. Susan and her husband Ted were in the back seats. Fortunately, both their kids were at home with Christine’s mother.

No matter how hard she tries to forget the last conversation she had with Ted, Susan cannot help regretting that it was a fight. A small harmless one, nevertheless a fight.

“Where is my charger?” Ted had asked her.

“I don’t know.”

“I told you to keep it. My phone is almost dead.”

“Well, you should have kept it yourself then.” It was so unlike her to snap at him in front of others. She knew it in her dream that she would feel guilty all over again the next morning for not saying sorry to Ted at that very moment.

In the dream, however, she got startled when Christine turned around and whistled.

“Wow! You guys do fight.”

“Of course! Silly,” Susan smiled.

“I’ve wondered that, too. I have never seen you guys get angry, even at Joe. I know Susan has a cool head, especially with kids. But you know, wives are so hard to please,” Ronald joked but cursed himself immediately when Christine poked his shoulder.

“It seems you don’t know your childhood friend at all. Poor me, I have to keep her anger under control by following her orders all the time.” Ted winked at Susan. She responded with a threatening glare, then broke out into a smile.

“Then why haven’t we ever seen you fight before. We can go for days without speaking to each other. Speaking of which, you are sleeping on the couch tonight,” Christine said. Ronald banged his head on the steering wheel dramatically making everyone laugh.

“She is an overthinker, you see. She can’t sleep a wink without patching up. If she ever does, all she would think about is death, accidents, earthquakes, and whatnot.” Susan remembered feeling embarrassed at Ted’s words. Now, it felt veridical, even inside the dream.

“Can we stop at some restaurant?” Ted knew she was hungry. Susan gaped at him. Her expressions softened when he smiled and whispered “I know you get angry on an empty stomach.” Ted placed his hand on her shoulder. She said ‘Sorry’ in his ear and he gave her a soft peck on her forehead. This moment always helped her console the grief in her heart.

Susan saw Ronald’s reflection change in the rearview mirror. He was smiling at them one second and the next, he panicked. Tonight she didn’t follow Ronald’s gaze to see their car veer out of control, in her dream. Instead, she turned towards her husband’s smiling face. It was supposed to be Ted’s. It wasn’t. Her nightmare had ended on a happy note. Yet she was sweating.

She sat up and looked at Ronald sleeping beside her. He looked peaceful. Ronald lost Christine in the same accident. He was as devastated as Susan had been on losing Ted. She still had goosebumps when she thought of how messed up he had looked two years ago. He had no idea how to handle his four-year-old son, Matt. The poor child would constantly cry for his mother. Matt would not eat without Christine and would sleep restlessly after crying for hours. A child needs a mother.

Her son, Joe was the same age. Everyone thought he handled it better. He did not throw tantrums. But Susan knew how Ted’s death had affected him. He had become quiet. A child needs a father too. Now with Ronald and Matt, he talks non-stop about football, drawing, video games, movies, and everything else under the sun. Ronald filled Ted’s place in his life perfectly. Was he now taking Ted’s place in her life as well? She felt restless all of a sudden. She stood up from her bed and rushed out of the bedroom.

She walked into the kids’ room. They looked like twins. Same height. Same physique. Same age. Same experiences. She moved closer to them. The moonlight from the window was falling on Matt’s face. He was smiling. Probably, dreaming about his favorite hero. His smile had a hint of Christine but his face was Ronald’s. A sharp-pointed nose, big eyes with curved eyelashes, and frizzy hair. She had to admit to herself that she liked his face.

Matt had clung to her the instant she walked into this house as his mother. She loved him like her own. She kissed Matt and Joe and kept looking at them until she felt Ronald’s eyes on her back.

Ronald walked inside the room and stood behind her. “What are you thinking?” he asked Susan.

“Nothing. Just watching them. My little angels”

“We did the right thing, you know, by getting married.”

“Hmm. I don’t know how I would have taken care of Joe without you. And Matt,” she shuddered at the thought.

“Yes, but I was talking about us,” Ronald said.

She turned. He was smiling at her, the same way he had done before her dream ended. For the first time, she saw something other than friendship in his eyes. She saw love.

He placed his hand gently on Susan's shoulder. "Is this right?" her eyes asked.

"It doesn't feel wrong," his eyes replied.

She asked out loud, "How would I face Ted and Christine?"

"They are dead. They loved us and would want us to be happy. For two years we have been living under one roof as parents for both our children. But we are uncomfortable around each other. They have started noticing it as well."

"Are we moving on for our kids?" Susan sounded annoyed.

Ronald cupped her face in his hands and said, "No, not at all. It is because I want to and I know you want it as well.”

She was stunned at his words. “How d…do you…”

“How do I know? Really Susan? We were friends years before we met Christine and Ted. I know you, like the back of my hand and you know me better than I know myself.”

She hugged him. She smiled while the tears flew out of her eyes.