Role Reversal

Swapna stared into the painful distance. She was standing in her balcony. A little corner in the house where her parents, sister and Swapna had spent hundreds of evenings sipping tea and indulging in delicious mom-made snacks. Sometimes, rain kept them company; at other times, it was the cool breeze that wishfully blew the hair off their faces. Sun too played hide-and-seek on several days. Ten years ago Swapna and her sister Lila would find a far off park and their school, standing at the various spots of the balcony. Today, several high-rise buildings and commercial complexes had come up. A lot had changed over the years. Except how Swapna’s mother treated the afternoon tea more like a party. She celebrated the tea-time with her loving family with infectious enthusiasm. Mother would often share how there was something so hopeful about tea time. She compared tea-break to the moments in life that need a “pause and reflect” response.

“Chinna, do you want me to give you Gulab Jamoons as well as tea together? Your dad just doesn’t listen to me. I am saying the combination is not the best one yet he is reluctant. He thinks I will eat away all the Jamoons without giving his little daughter.”

Swapna laughed. The three sat down for their first tea after Swapna arrived in Bangalore for her holiday. They terribly missed Lila, Swapna’s younger sister who was to arrive in 2 days’ time.

“Chitra and Mona are asleep. They are clearly jet-lagged. I am happy that we have you all for ourselves.” Swapna and her mother giggled at dad’s words.

“Mamma, Papa, It has been more than 12 hours since I arrived. I slept for a good 6 hours, ate well, you have pampered me all along. I am just wondering how hard it must have been for the two of you. In the last 10 years, you traveled so often – sometimes, there weren’t even proper breaks but you managed without a hint of exhaustion, defying the medical issues and putting to shame the age. “

“Chinna, stop behaving like a stranger. Don’t let the tea go cold. You are our daughter. All we wish for is your happiness.”

“I know Mamma, but it was never about you isn’t it. You would excitedly travel from Bangalore to Toronto in anticipation of taking care of grandchildren, teaching them Vedas, making us yummy pickles and literally keeping the home and our health intact. Such selfless love! In return, you wouldn’t even offer yourself a good night’s sleep, Mamma. “

Swapna’s mother remained quiet. She fell short of words and was emotional but hid it lest Swapna noticed.

“Papa, kids are so fond of the little garden you have grown. They nurture it with great compassion remembering their grandpa fondly. You always shrugged your shoulders when you were suggested an afternoon nap or a break from the naughty kids. All you did was be around them, coached everybody on a multitude of activities on doing things well in life, mentoring us and showering such unconditional support, Papa.”

I feel pained that you both had to endure so much – what about the severe cramps at the end of 25 hours of journey?, what about missing the familiarity and the comfort of being in a home country?, How hard it must have been with language, new culture, and sudden extreme shift in the weather pattern?

“Chinna, why you being so guilty? We are a family and we have to, of course, stand by each other through the thick and thin. It is done with utmost bliss and satisfaction. Not a burden, chinna. “

“Papa, I know. But….”

Swapna’s mother hugged her tearfully.

“My dear husband, brace yourself for another tea session with the younger darling in a few days!”

The three looked at each other. Their eyes said it all – gratitude, love, care and trust filled the atmosphere.

“Mamma, I thought I would tell this much later but why wait.”

The parents were curious already.

“Mamma, this time around I will be here for a few years. “

As much as the parents were over the moon to have the daughter at home, they couldn’t believe their ears.

“Chinna, of course, yes. We couldn’t be happier. But when was the decision taken anyway.”

“I intentionally kept it away from your knowledge, Papa."

“Chinna, we don’t get you. Is everything okay?”

“Ha-ha. Oh, yes absolutely. Don’t imagine anything wrong. I had a think about it for a while now. I spoke to Avinash, he too shared my sentiment. I discussed with Lila and Ritin (Lila’s husband) too. “

“Chinna, your father and I have seemed to miss the whole story?”

“No, Mamma. I had resolved to share it with you both once I came down. Mamma, I do not know how many exact years but I want to move back for good for now. I want to encourage you and papa to enjoy your lives."

“Oh my god! Chinna, we have always had fun with you all around. Do not hastily and emotionally conclude anything dear. You have a family and responsibilities."

Swapna’s parents had a radiant smile as a response to her announcement but definitely did not expect the imminence of the occurrence in order for them to enjoy life.

“Look at me and your mother, chinna. We are fit and healthy.”

“Touchwood. But, Mamma, Papa, it isn’t only about caring for your health which I do profusely. Lila does too. You both have trod all your life living our dreams, desires and wishes. You found happiness in the little and the big things we did as kids and as adults much later. The two of you celebrated us throughout our lives, my dear papa, mamma.”

“As children, we don’t merely build a nice cozy home for parents, take care of you in your old age and check on your health progress on video calls. All that is part and parcel of our joyous duties. Bringing you gifts, overloading you with surprises on anniversaries, birthdays and vacations is all wonderful. It doesn’t end there though. All of that is a small part only.”

“Mamma, Papa, you have your dreams and your secret ambitions too. You deserve to take much prettier and brighter time off than passing each day so quietly. We want you to have a rather very memorable retirement. ”

“Mamma, you always longed to make handmade decorative items. I remember you even gave up teaching at school as well as your hobbies just so you could focus on our studies and performance. Papa, we all know how much you love agriculture and gardening. You miss practicing those, I am sure. After all, it has always been about a routine occupation and giving your best for the family needs isn’t it, Papa.”

“Chinna, you really shouldn’t be worried about us. You would be shifting base back to India and that would mean kids will miss out on their life there. It would be absolutely stressful making a transformation of this sort.”

“Papa, I was born and raised here. So are Avinash, Lila and Ritin. It can never be difficult to be here. And, about the kids, we have spoken at the school and also evaluated all the parameters, Papa. I want them to enjoy a good number of years here as well. They can always go back for high school. I want them to not only master linguistics, technology studies which can be very well learned here too but also gain an insight into our culture. I want it to be an authentic and very hands-on way of training too. What’s wrong in having the best of both the worlds? “

“Chinna, you are taking a big risk. You have already done so much for us.”

“Mamma, no. You found joy in whatever you did for us. We haven’t done anything so special for you. Not yet. Lila will hate me if she knows that I have given you an inkling about the surprise trips and experiences we want you to have. During dinners and all casual conversations, Lila and I noted your favorites. Now, we want you both to become kids while we become doting parents. He he.”

Swapna’s mom and dad did not know how to reciprocate except that the expressions said it all. Their heart was filled with infinite amount of emotion.

“I want you both to happily enjoy life king size and pursue your goals. Not that you aren’t doing it now. But Lila and I know that you have sacrificed so much for us. Having a business of your own, reconnecting with your hobbies, going back to old times through your friends and much more.”

“We are so thankful that God gave us you both.”

“No, amma. It is your upbringing. You instilled in us the resilience, the drive and the optimism to cherish a sense of purpose and a sense of accomplishment in our lives. Do you still believe that we did not notice how much more passionate you are about your own lives too.”

“ Papa, Mamma, we will first spend great family time together once the other three come down too. Later, we shall discuss what you want to do, how you wish to invest your time and energy, what are the resources and support we will need, if you want to start from the scratch or if you would prefer networking a bit.”

Swapna’s parents looked visibly very happy. They couldn’t wait to get started.

“Swapna, I thought I had written a couple of business models and penned down my ideas only in the journal. I would discuss with my childhood friends back in the native village. Nothing materialized and the initial hype eventually faded. It looks like your magical mind had an insight into what I had wanted to do for long, my dear.”

“Ha-ha, Papa.”

“You know, Swapna, I often watched YouTube and attended exhibitions. Very many times it occurred to me how I too should exhibit some of my work. I hesitated. I found excuses. I moved on. At the end of the day, I would feel bad. Today, I can’t believe I am going to be unleashing my creative potential. Love you, china.”

“Love you both so much.”

Swapna enjoyed her moments of contentment. Long after the tea time was over and the kids had woken up only to end up playing with the grandparents, she wondered how life is truly about the little joys. Sometimes, we get bogged down by pressure. We may lose sight of what matters most to us and who matter the most to us. That is exactly when we should pause and reflect. We may need to redefine life’s priorities. Swapna knew that she and her sister had many grand plans for the parents. If they did not start at the right time, it wouldn’t be as beautiful as it ought to be.

In the night, as Swapna retired for the day having put the kids to sleep, she saw her parents sleeping peacefully. She couldn’t wait for Lila to join. Swapna emotionally reminisced the days when the four of them shared a room.