Put Good in a Good Life

Life - it's all about having personal values, discovering ourselves and moving beyond what we limit as boundaries and put the good in the good life. 

Personal values:

As children, we are born wired like, everyone else is happy and you are crying, by being helpless and not able to do anything, that is, can’t walk, talk or feed ourselves. As days pass by, we learn only one thing, copying others. This does not stop only with physical activities but it makes us to develop social skills by watching and copying our peers around us. Then, finally, in late childhood, we learn to adapt to our culture by observing the rules and norms around us and try to behave in such a way that is generally considered acceptable in society.

Here, roles of adults should move further to teach us how to function within society so that we can be autonomous, self-sufficient adults. The idea is that the adults in the community around us can help us to reach to this point through supporting our abilities to make decisions and helping us to take action ourselves.

But some adults and community members around us pull down this thoughtfulness. They attack us on our independent thoughts and personal values. They don’t support our decisions. And therefore we don’t develop autonomy. We get stuck here, endlessly mimicking those around us, endlessly attempting to please all so that we might not be judged. But one thing we want to surely think about. When we wake up one day at the age of 45, realizing they’ve never actually lived for themselves and wonder where the hell all these years went, so then we feel it is necessary, we must develop the ability to act by ourselves and for ourselves.

Discovering ourselves:

After we learn to fit in with the people and the culture around us, the most important thing is going to be finding ourselves; maybe it’s all about learning and realizing what makes us different from the people and culture around us. This begins by making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves, to understand ourselves and what makes us unique.

Life is all about experimentation, which involves a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation on doing what we really love to do, which leads to self-discovery. Some of them go well. Some of them don’t. The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on. This doesn’t sit well with many people, they hesitate to do and they encircled by their peer pressure.

You’re just going to be bad at some things, no matter how hard you try and you need to know what they are. I am not genetically inclined to ever shine at being an athlete or a maestro in violin. It sucked for me to learn that, but I did learn that during my childhood days. Ultimately, life is short, not all of our dreams can come true and so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at, commit to it and expand our boundaries or sometimes find limitations. Once you’ve been pushed your own boundaries, you find your limitations and you are left with what is actually important to you, and what you’re not terrible at. Now it’s time to make your dent in the world.

Move Beyond:

Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time in this world is limited and, therefore, you should spend it on things that matter the most. That means realizing that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it. That means realizing that just because you like certain people doesn’t mean you should be with them. That means realizing that there are opportunity costs to everything and that you can’t have it all.

There are some people who never allow themselves to feel the limitations either because they refuse to admit their failures, or because they delude themselves into believing that their limitations doesn’t exists. Sometimes, this educates us to be humble towards others. So love your limitations as they are made for you and certainly made by you.

In the eons, people arrived and spent around half a century investing in themselves, in what they believed was meaningful and important. They did great things, worked hard, earned everything they have and now they’re done. This worlds seen many tear drops and has flowered much happiness by creating our own legacy as much as simply making sure that legacy lasts beyond one’s death.

This could be something as simple as supporting and advising their children and living vicariously through them. It could also mean becoming more politically active to maintain their values in a society that they no longer recognize.

To move beyond, you must realize that time and energy are limited, and therefore you must refocus your attention to helping others take over the meaningful projects you began. You must realize that change is inevitable, and that the influence of one person, no matter how great, no matter how powerful, no matter how meaningful, will eventually dissipate too. And life will go on.