Raju Ganapathy

Comedy Others


Raju Ganapathy

Comedy Others

'Pilu'- Toast of India

'Pilu'- Toast of India

4 mins

"Hunagama hai kyon burpa, thodi si jo pili hein (why the ruckus when all I had was a small drink)" a Ghulam Ali classic Dhananjaya Kumar hummed in an involuntary response to the flutter in the social media to his confession.

Just a few days back he bared his heart in an interview to Grylls that the secret of his youth was a daily drink of the 'gomutra.' Bears grilled him further and he said he had done his home work before embarking on this elixir therapy. In a research paper he found in Google he had read that cow urine is a divine medicine and is used for treatment of diabetes, blood pressure, asthma, psoriasis, eczema, heart attack, blockage in arteries, fits, cancer, AIDS, piles, prostrate, arthritis, migraine, thyroid, ulcer, acidity, constipation and so on. He could check many of the conditions if not now in future.

So, what he had the Canadian passport he was 'desi' at heart. Especially so since 2014 when the 'maha' leader won the elections and took his rightful place in history. He had the privilege to interview him and it was a 'classic' recorded in history. The public deserved to know the leader better. They knew after the interview. They now know how the 'maha' leader liked his mangoes, how he made his ginger tea, for he was the most famous chaiwallah in history.

Recently he had goose pimples when the 'maha 'leader made a clarion call for 'atmanirbharta.' He had been thinking hard about how he can contribute to this clarion call on the ground. He had a good life with a wife who was 'twinkle' of his eye. He had enough wealth for generations to come and it was time to give back to the society. He did some 'herapheri' (dishonest practice), of course it meant the title of the movies he had done, to accumulate wealth.

As he eased into the head stand pose, he had the moment of epiphany. The idea came in a flash. He quickly came back to 'stand on his own legs.' Yes, he would launch it himself and call it the toast of new India. The brand name would be 'pilu' (yellow after the natural colour of the drink).

He dialled the minister who was the Nagpur grape among the fruits and shared his idea. He further said that the management gurus would estimate how many billion sales and employment generation figures etc in the business plan. He would offer them a contract for producing the business plan. When the minister of cabinet rank nodded, he dialled the CEO who was at Anand and talked about the concept and suggested if his organization could take distributorship of the toast of India. There would be synergy he added as the CEO's company's product was the taste of India. Dhananjaya told the CEO it was a natural logic to have an alliance with their company when he learnt of the support to the Sudharshan Chakra TV. This channel had the 'right' inclination and they could make a spin of it. The channel would handle the media face for this product.

Finally, he sent out an e-mail outlying the concept to the management gurus who were the stepping stone closest to Harvard. In the heartland of UP, the yogi got surprised to see the herd of docile cows swaggering their way. He understood the reason when he listened to the Sudharshan Chakra TV in the night.

The very concept energised Dhananjaya and he poured out a glass of the daily elixir and downed the glass in one gulp. He set out to think of the commercial to promote this 'pilu' the toast of new India. Who of course but the Queen of Bollywood who had dared to taken on the dynasty Queen would play the female lead. She was in the thick of the murky affairs that has captured the imagination of the media and for that matter the entire nation. For some death brought more fame that life itself he thought ruefully as he thought of the young actor. Either you are with him or not with him to paraphrase the famous Bush saying, he muttered thinking of the Bollywood divide in support of the late actor.

As he stood in front of the portrait of the 'maha'leader he thought of the Gitopadesh that one has right to effort and not to the fruits of one's effort.

It was a forewarning of things to come in his pet project. A year after the launch of the toast of India drink after much fun fare it was declared to be a flop as in Bollywood lingo. Blissfully the nation was spared of the pandemic of 'yellow' fever as it had not recovered from COVID as yet.

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