Once again, after so long

  The day I was patiently biding my time for the moment of first seeing his face, of being able to be in his arms and to feel his breath, telling him I love him after went through those scattered memories of 10 months. It was another beautiful beginning to the night of a new moon in my life. On the mirror in front of me, I was seeing my self so blissful once again, after long while I have put on Kajal to my eyes; remembering the days when we both were in Skype calls, he was usually telling me that he could get lost in those deep ocean eyes. I still hearken back to the days which start with his smile and end with spending hours and hours at night talking to him, almost in tears from laughter from our bantering. It was going to be 2 years of we both in a relationship and this was the hardest time we have went through. 

  Around March, the whole world was going through the pandemic of Covid-19. Thus, it is officially promulgated the movement control order(MCO) under the Prevention and Control of Infectious Diseases Act 1988 and the Police Act 1967. After this has been implemented, people who are working abroad are not allowed to return to their mother land. But, on 10 July, it has been announced that Malaysian, working abroad are allowed to return to their mother land after being self quarantined for 14 days at particular Hotel at Putra Jaya. 

 And this is the day, 28th July 2020 I am meeting him after 10 months he is staying at Sweden. 

 All of sudden, the phone rings. 

 "Hey, baby. I am on my way. In 20 minutes, I'll be there," he told. He had conjured up the excuse of a conference call in office to cover up reaching late. I couldn't digest the fact that I was so lucky to have a man who went the extra mile, just to keep our relationship is going on. I just smiled. "Baby, today the universe finally heard my wishes and here we are," he said. "I am waiting to feel you near me, baby," I told and cut the call. 

  All this while I'd tried to find logic in love. I'd tried to elude from the fact that I could ever be in love. I go through some websites and blogs, finding for the right definition of love; but in the end, I realized I was simply sinking in the universe; without an end. Love can only be felt if you go with the flow rather than questioning it. Love is not a term to read and understand; love is an emotion, you could understand it only if you feel the emotion by a right person.

 Door bell rings.

 I once again looked at the mirror, adjusting my hair and the white with rose pleated dress which he gifted on our first date. And yes, I still remember our first date 10 months back where he came all along from abroad, by presenting fake medical certificate to his manager for leave application. 

 With a wide smile and I walked towards the door, imagining he is on my favorite white shirt, flipped up his both sleeves till his elbow, wearing black pants and polished cover shoes, holding a Veronica bouquet and Cadbury. He knows very well that I'll be a 5 years old kid whenever I see him with Cadbury.

 I opened the door.

"Hey, ma'am. Sorry for interrupting you. Do you know Mr._?. 'Cause we got to know that you were the last person to who he talked with," asked a police officer standing right opposite to me.

 I was panic. I just nodded my head.

 He continued. "Sorry to tell you ma'am, that he met with an accident just now. Now, he is admitted at GH. We came here to bring along you to there as seems he was just from abroad," he said.

 I heard my inner voice once again after so long. The first time I heard it when I saw him for the first time at my friend's wedding. Now, it is saying, "Dear, you still have to wait for him for the rest of you life, just only with the memories he has left in you," whispers. I hoped so much that the distance within us will be gone soon but unfortunately this distance lasts long for the rest of my life. Before this, I used to think of you every time I breathe, and after of all this I breathe just to realize myself that you are in me. 

"Once again, but after so long"