Not So Lucky Day

2nd January Monday, the most beautiful day of my life. Started at the break of dawn, welcomed by the chirrupings of birds and bestowed with utmost pleasantness.

You know the feeling when you have been rescued after 8 hours of being struck in a marsh? If you do then, feelings mutual. A man deserves a break after facing a diaster. I should pack my bag and take off to Goa to enjoy my happy time till it lasts. A giggling neighbour next desk, Ms Annie brought me back to Earth. All my plans of a relaxing vacation went out of the window.

Yet another boring day at office, but with a slight difference. First of all let me introduce myself. I am Mr Vikram Patel or you can say the most unlucky person on Earth. I am happy because God, after being years of cursed by me, has granted me the rare opportunity to live like a normal person. Some of you must be thinking I can't possibly be that unlucky. A few instances of my day to day life will bring you to the light.

Let me explain. My shoes are clean and hadn't got the opportunity to visit it's friend gutter yet, the dogs have taken a day off and had been polite enough to not make me run a marathon, my coat was able to get out of the car unscathed before the door closed, on seeing me my doom/Boss welcomed me with a smile instead of his guttaral expression and asked me to take an early leave today, during lunch no one got the idea to bring their lunch between me and my sneeze, and the list goes on and on. 

Currently at 8:45 PM, I am sitting on my chair in my office thinking about my awesome day. Just 15 more minutes and I will be free to leave. So far it had been a lucky day. Just one problem I have got. Why my next desk neighbour has been giggling since morning. Let me tell you she is the biggest gossip in our office and has been regularly updating my day to day incident's in her gossip site. This elaborates why everyone likes to keep their distance from me. 

Out of curiosity I asked her the reason about her cheerful mood .The reply came instantly. "You want to know?" I nodded "Just don't let anyone know that I told you. Well you know that our latest project has received a great sucess. You must know that Boss has decided to give a victory party. Some well-known directors of the our branch are invited as chief guests." She explained in her all knowing demeanor.

"There's nothing in it to laugh about" I inquired.

"Yes there is something you should know. Boss has threatened everyone not to let you know about it." then she brust into fits of laughter. 

What! I have been excluded from attending a party. It's not my fault that I ruin everything. Believe me I try my best to control every mishap in my own way. Nevertheless that doesn't mean I can be cut from my basic rights as an employer. My pride didn't let me voice my thoughts aloud. Instead I said "Who cares about some nonsense party I can always use some time to relax." Me and relax never. Now that I got to know about this not so secret party no one can stop me from attending it.

Annie exits claiming to have some stuffs to do. My phone beeps telling me to leave. I started to gather things in my bag. My plan was simple. Just pretend to leave office then re-enter from the back door. I heard some one clearing their throat. Without turning around I asked in a sing song voice"Who got a sore throat?"

"Mr Patel" comes the irritated voice of my boss. The next moment I was face to face with the most feared creature in this office.

"Yes sir." I squeaked unable to form words.

A brief description of my boss. He can make the normal language of humans seem like a lion's roar. I never got to know what he is doing here in lieu of attending the 'Most Roaring Lion' competition. Now let's see what he has in stock for me.

"Mr Patel there's a package I want you to pick up from the Post-office." roaring this he turns around to leave. "I am not in a hurry you can take as much time as you want" he yells without turning. 

I think that I will have to avert my plan of sneaking in the office for quite a while. Outside the weather was chilly with a little dust and breeze thrown in it. It was nothing much just bone freezing cold.

"Taxi"

What? You thought I owned a car. Well I used to before it got the desire to swim. Back to the matter in hand. It was the ninth taxi that chose to neglect me. Come on legs time for work.

After a good walk of 15 minutes and losing my phone somewhere I can't remember. I saw a dark alley. Yay shortcut. And without further delay I strode towards it.

"Spare me"

"Where is it?"

"Mmmmhh-"

Thud

The story isn't ending now. I made it out alive. My wallet wasn't that fortunate though. Anyway I am always ready. It contained nothing except two flies.

Standing up I made my way towards the post office. I am surprised that I made it here to this building called post-office. You must be wondering why. A few days ago I went to have some dinner in a restaurant. Seeing a dumpster asking for entry the guards kicked me out. But I was not the one to give up and ended in jail.

The street was unusually empty but being me I decided to ignore it. At the post-office a big red closed sign welcomed me with a smile. Closed? I thought. Why would boss send me here if it was closed. After five minutes of extensive thinking. My inner consience screamed "Because he wanted you to stay away from that party of his." 

"That sneaky being" I mumbled to myself.

The most embarrassing thing in an employees life is getting fooled by his employer's. It's really a thing to feel shame on. No worries. I can still crash there if I leave now. Thinking so I headed for my doom. You guessed right. Life had other plans for me.

"Taxi, taxi stop. Is there a 'No Vikram' rule for taxies." I shouted at it when it left me stranded.

"I can always rely on you." I said patting my legs "Next stop Office." And then I stumbled. A strong stench of decayed garbage burnt my nostrils. A rat was considerate enough to give me a head massage. When I took myself out of the gutter I noticed that my left shoe has gone on a vacation with it's friend. After a throughout search I concluded that the vacation is indeed a long one. Shrugging I started moving towards my destination.

Did I tell you Ice-ceams are my favourite? I can swear on my dirty underwear that this shop wasn't here on my way to the post-office. But that is least of my worries. I have a growling stomach to take care of.

"A vanilla Cornato please." I asked.

You should be questioning that I was robbed. That's the reason why I keep my money somewhere-------how to mention it--------somewhere censored. I was astounded when the shopkeeper took out tongs to accept my money. Some people really have extreme sense of cleanliness.

Two extremely cute not so small puppies were waiting for me. Growling, showing thier fangs and ready to deavour anyone in their way. Let's name them Ben and Willy I think they are after my ice- cream. Time for my marathon. They took a step fordward, I took one back. They took another step forward, I started running.

Present situation. I am running with two dogs hot on my heels. Exciting experience if you decide to neglect the panting, sweating and aching. Thanks to the two creatures behind me. I will definitely reach my goal quickly. A somewhat familiar building infront of me was growing bigger with every passing second.

"Side." I shouted at the two guards standing near the entrance.

"Boss has forbidden your entry." One of them dared to speak.

"Side I am in a hurry." The next moment I was inside the building. The screams behind me proved that Ben and Willy were taking good care of the guards.

I plunged towards the almost closing lift. I managed to get in but my coat got the urge to stuck. I pulled, nothing happened. I pulled again, no progress. I placed my right foot on the lift's door and pulled again. The whole left side of my coat got detached from my body leaving me on the floor.

This stunt earned me a scream from the lady who was present there with me. She appeared pale for some unknown reason.

"Hi" I greeted her after standing on my two feet. She was madly pressing the buttons while keeping an eye on me like I will attack her anytime. She seemed to be in a hurry of getting out of the lift.

 "Can I help you?" I asked concerned. 

"N-No" she replied and started scratching the door. The door opened with a ding sound. She scurried away with her purse in hand. Some people are really wierd.

The party was in it's full swing when I arrived. Wherever I went people moved away and made way for me. I was so delighted on getting respect from my colleagues that I didn't see their cringed faces.

"May I be excused?" I tapped a man's shoulder from behind. He turned around in what looked like a superhero style. My mind couldn't register what happened next. There was only a whiff of smoke left in front of me after I heard a scream. I will have to admit the scream was quite girly.

I think I will have to find my own way. I caught a glimpse of our chiefguest. A few excuse me's and sorry's later. I was standing infront of him in all my glory.

"Hello, I am Vikram Patel. An employee of this firm. I am honoured to meet you." The expression on his face was enough to assure me that he doesn't share my feelings. I extended my hands to shake but he stepped back.

"Mr. Thakur." He called my boss "Mind to introduce this employee of yours."

Boss took a glance at me. Massaged his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. Took a closer look at me then continued "Sir I can assure you he doesn't works here."

"Hey! what are you saying." I objected "I am Mr Vikram Patel, remember?"

A wave of realisation hit him "Well, at least not anymore." He finished facing the director.

"I was afraid that you have started employing beggers." confirmed the director with relief.

Beggers? I thought. Then realisation hit me. What will you call a person covered in dirt and wet patches, stinking like a dead fish dried for years, a missing left shoe with a toe like thing emerging from his sock, a decayed banana peel stuffed in the right coat pocket and the left side of his coat long forgetten in the elevator.

"You can't fire me. You were the one who send me to that stupid Post-office. You don't even have a decent reason to fire me." I spoke in my defense.

Although his eyes were filled with rage He said in his cool, calm and composed tone "Mr. Patel you are fired for drastic violation of dress code." 

Last time when I came to office looking twice as bad than now I was suspended for a fortnight along with a warning to get fired for reapeating my mistake. I accept that I am not presentable to attend a function. If you stop to think deeply I am not that dirty today. So he don't have any right to fire me. Instead I should be awarded with increased income and one month of holiday for improvement. I didn't delay in voicing my thoughts. Which gave me the most unexpected answer from my so called boss.

"GUARDS!"

I was dragged and thrown out like a useless rag doll. Don't feel sorry for me. Ben and Willy were there to keep me company. After all today was a not so lucky 'Lucky Day'.