Me And My Love Pills

I can not believe my eyes, how time flies in a wink leaving the sweet memories behind & the most beautiful moments of your life lands in a place called ‘past’ which you cannot visit again, except in dreams, thoughts & feelings. Almost after long ten years, I met her in the Biju Pattnaik International Airport, Bhubaneswar & believe me, same childish fervor, same dreamy eyes full of romance as if looking for that special someone much more than her life.

That day, I realized Love is the most sacred thing in the world, constant like Polestar and it never dies a death. In my thoughts, I had already paid my tributes and salutes to Shakespeare, John Donne, W.B Yeats & John Keats the famous English poets for believing in love, for keeping love alive through their writings.

Yes, I am talking about Shruti, my ex-colleague, a good friend of mine and above all a good soul. Shruti is now in her mid-thirties and by profession, I can say, now she is a Sociopreneur, a CEO of a Not for Profit Organization called 'Sunflower' which is working on education & health for helping the poor and underprivileged people, perhaps it was the favorite ‘organization naming’ chosen by her beloved for which she has christened her organization as 'Sunflower'.

The moment was awesome, while we met each other at the airport after a long ten years. She greeted me exactly in the same manner when we were colleagues cum friends. I was always committed to my friends, but it was she who had changed her contact details, the address of her house, one day all sudden she had disappeared from facebook, twitter and I had no options to find her. The reason for deactivating her Facebook account is Animesh, who had not accepted Shruti’s friend request and that day she had promised not to use facebook and to date, she is true to her words. 

It was nothing but mad love for someone special, which had completely changed my friend and due to this love, she had left her job, ten years back without making any noise. My long lost friend is back to me again; we hugged each other and postponed all our pre-scheduled work and went to a restaurant nearby. First coffee, then snacks and chit-chats and we could not know how we spent seven hours in that restaurant.

Seeing her same Shruti, I restored some courage in me to go back to her past and finally asked her, “How are you Shruti”? Then I saw a smiling face, twinkling eyes, same lovely bubbly attitude, the innocence of a baby and that is the reason why I love her so much. Then she replied, “I am fine; still with his memories and it makes me live my life to fullest……..you know Swapna love is amazing’’.

Ten years back, that day I was a little late for office and when I entered the office gate found Shruti so much worried, tensed and with teary eyes. Seeing her so worried I asked her, “Hey dear, what’s up”? Then she burst into tears and she was looking at her mobile desperately and so frequently as if waiting for someone’s message. 

“She willed herself not to check her phone to see if he had replied. It had been about three days now. She hated that she was constantly checking his ‘last seen at’ status and yes, he had logged in just five minutes ago. Yet she could not stop herself. This sinking feeling to find absolutely no communication from him was becoming unbearable, almost torturous.

And then, just as she sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated. With her heart thudding in her ear, she unlocked her phone and stared at the screen. Finally; It was his message.

But when she opened it, she nearly stopped breathing. She didn’t know if he was joking or not. What was this?

I must say that it was her last day in our office. For me, she was not only a good colleague but also a good friend. 

She was really amazing; she loves to work, to remain busy in her work and like others she didn’t have that leg pulling or backstabbing nature. She lives her own life without interfering in other's lives but leaves no stone unturned to help others in their times of need. 

Let me share something about Shruti; she was from a middle-class family and that was the worst time for her as she had lost her father, who was her only support and backbone of the entire family. That was the most difficult phase in her life and she was in desperate need of a job to stand on her own, as well as to divert her mind by keeping herself busy at work. That was the time when she had joined our office ASPL.

The Day one when she for the first time saw our CEO; was already half in love with him and the rest half started after joining the job. Shruti was impressed by Animesh's dedication, his down to earth attitude, extremely pleasant personality and friendly nature which had created a place for him in her heart. 

Animesh is our Ex-Boss, quite an intellectual person, a successful entrepreneur, a CEO, a Founder, long long designations. I was also agreed with Shruti that he was a nice man. But, Shruti was madly in love with him; in spite of a heaven and hell difference between them; in terms of age, caste, class, knowledge, intellect, status, and position. Perhaps, loves makes a person blind. But she was deeply in love with Animesh.

That time seeing Shruti struggling for a job and recently losing her father; somehow Animesh had selected her, though there were many potential candidates. It was not partiality; it shows his helping nature and willingness and preference to bring a smile on other's faces. Due to this helpful attitude, he had formed a Social Development organization for doing different social welfare activities.

That day seeing here confidence, courage Animesh had selected her as an Assistant Manager and it was just Angel’s entry into her life. That was the Angel of Romance, Angel of Love, Angel of happiness. I can say it confidently that it was not a kind of modern office romance or a kind of lusty affair, rather it was heavenly love, a true and sacred love, platonic one, there was not a bit of sexuality in that love.

That love was getting explained and had its existence in lyrics, in tears, in smiles, in dreams, in the feeling of my friend Shruti. As an employee, she was very dedicated, punctual; time-bound in her work and never misses deadlines. Shruti was happier than before and by that time she was trying to come out of the sorrows and trying to forget all her worries and tensions. 

      Getting Animesh in her life Shruti was feeling as if in heaven and it was a heavenly love that had completely changed her nature. She anxiously waits for meetings with him and it was the meeting in the office boardroom that Shruti always wishes for. Even if God will come and asks her “Shruti what do you like to have just asked me and I will fulfill your wishes, perhaps Shruti wouls have prayed for more numbers of meetings with Animesh and I can say 8 meetings in 6 days”. 

The day when Shruti attends a meeting with him than for one day she forgets her work and starts dreaming, then she does not like to talk to anybody and loves to sit alone and listens to romantic songs and her attitude changes. Then I get surprised why my friend is behaving strangely and by that time I was not aware of this love.

Then she leaves for home early, I mean early than her usual pack uptime. Later on, I came to know that she leaves office so early that day, so that she will sleep in her room and dream about her love and nobody will be there to disturb her.

It was a coincidence that Animesh somehow appreciates Shruti because she always completes her assignments on time without any delay and there was no reason to scold her. Animesh was not aware of this madness of Shruti and for him, she was like other employees and a part of the ASPL family. He always gives her scope to present her views and accepts her as she is.

The gloomy period of her life was about to vanish to be with Animesh and she was so happy that it had started creating some positive impacts on her life, she was becoming more polite, helpful, cooperative, honest both in personal and professional life. 

I can say love has that magical power that can make a person good and honest. Love has some healing power that can cure the wounds of the heart; it can change your life. Shruti was trying to spend more time in office and that place was giving solace to her heart.

But Animesh was busy in managing five organizations being a founder, CEO and was quite busy in his work. But he has a very good quality and in spite of his busy schedule, he gives times to all so that no one will be upset. But, it was quite interesting to work with Shruti and our team was a small team and we were happy colleagues together without having any intention to hurt others, our team was out of all kind of office politics, just come to office one time, finish up your work, have food together, enjoy the leisure time and to some worthy discussions on free times that helps to develop your knowledge those were the rules of our team.

Gradually Shruti’s madness increased and I found a new Shruti, very fickle, emotionally imbalanced; she could hardly concentrate on her work like before. If she does not see Animesh for 5 days while others take prior appointments to meet him then Shruti gets upset, becomes disturbed and as if something distracts her mind. By that time Shruti had already spent three years with ASPL.

“She got mad for him and could not control herself & finally informed him that she is in love with him." She had already informed Animesh about all these madness by sending him constant emails; without any hesitation or a bit of fear that she may have to lose her job for all these.

By that time I did not know anything about this hidden romance or the ‘King of her Romance’ and for her, that love was most important and precious. Animesh after knowing all these facts was quite silent and was behaving like a typical Boss; most maturely, managing everything quite perfectly. He had never replied to her or reacted about it and that was perhaps the last day when he had replied to her and then immediately after that she had left her job. 

Animesh was the Angel of her life, the angel of her happiness, the angel of romance and getting him was the most beautiful phase of life. By that time she was so mad in love with him that she had less time to spend with her friends, relatives, near and dear ones because she had found everything in Animesh, though the love was one-side.

The most dedicated girl in our office became more restless day by day, became fickle, most of the time with teary eyes she avoids eye contact with others.

Then I decided to discuss with her to know what is going on in her life; for which we both went to a temple and there was a park in front of that where we sat for hours and hours and when “I asked her what happened Shruti”? Then she cried like a baby holding me tightly and said

“Swapna I love him, yes I do love him and believe me I do not want to break his family, I don’t want sex with him, I don’t want any salary hike or promotion rather I love him truly”.  

“I know you will laugh and mock at me, but it’s true”. Then “I had asked him for the first time who is that Lucky Guy”? She replied, ’Animesh’. Then I got speechless, stunned and I had no words to say her. Did I think what kind of madness is this? 

Then I said, “Have you gone Mad Shruti”? It was a kind of abnormal syndrome. Fifteen years of an age gap between them, he was happily married, a father of 2 children and how could you think about this Shruti? 

Then like an innocent baby, she murmured “Swapna I don’t want to replace anything in his life; I am not going to spoil his family life, I don’t want to force him to love me.

I only love him and want to love him till breathing the last puff of air & that day I came to know about her strange love story for the first time, but I had promised not to disclose it to anybody as some doors better to be left unopened. The next day I came to know from our receptionist that Shruti has already resigned from her job and in her resignation letter, she had mentioned that it was due to some personal problem she left her job. 

But, I was known what her problem was. It was Animesh, but I remained silent. Then I tried to contact Shruti, she did not receive my call, did not meet me. Then someday, suddenly she had disappeared from Bhubaneswar, changed her address, her phone number, and deactivated her Facebook account. For me, there was no chance to find out her though I was missing her a lot. 

This is after a long ten years the same Shruti is in front of me; though I was angry with her for not keeping any contact with me, yet seeing her innocent face could not control myself. But, today finding the same girl, with the same quantum of love and feeling for the same person, I thought nothing has changed; only time has passed but all the things are the same, in the same place, in the same order. 

Finally, I asked her Shruti how you live with so much pain in you? I started crying and tears rolled down to my cheeks, then she replied; the secret of my life is “Me & My Love pills”. She said, “every day I take love pills in the morning and the evening and then she gave an innocent smile which was full of pain”. Yes, Swapna, Love never dies a death; he is still with me, in my dreams, in my memory, in my eyes and me, he exists everywhere. Then I realized that love is not lust, not a physical union, not to acquire something forcefully. Love is sacred, a pure and heavenly thing that makes you live. 

Then she hugged me and said, “still I send him emails, though I never get any answer, I never forget to wish him on every occasion, festival and that is the day I eagerly wait for to wish him and I too share about myself, as if he is listening to me………that day only she had told me about the last message she had got from Animesh.”

Everyday Shruti sends emails and SMS to him and expressing her love for him and saying that “If you don’t love me, it’s ok, fine… I want to leave my job so that I will go away from you and nobody will be there to disturb you and that day it was a reply from Animesh that, “yes Shruti you can leave”, which Shruti was not expecting from him as she had accepted that Animesh also loves him & it was his casual and careless answer which had shocked her like anything and then she had decided to leave her job so that it will be easier to stay away from him, to forget him. 

After ten years, when meeting each other and spending some good times at the coffee table, discussing Shruti’s past; in the middle of the gossip, Shruti told that “Do you know Swapna what I wish and dream? I wish if someone will write and publish my crazy love story, then I will be the happiest woman in the world and I will gift this Novel to him.

 As a mark of respect to date, Shruti never utters Animesh's name, rather uses the words He, His, Him. Then I told her, “yes Shruti I will be that writer and I will gift you “Me & My Love Pills” which you will gift to your ‘beloved him’. Then we laughed so loudly that people around us were looking at us as if we are Aliens on the earth.