Love

I was madly in love with her. 

Some relationships are beyond comprehension to our minute minds. Like God, they don't really exist but they permeate the entire universe and its inhabitants. We can't name or define them. We can't understand them. Then, in our utter confusion, we call them by the glorious name of love. Let me tell you this story of mine, so that you can understand. 

I and Jyotsna were in such a psychedelic relationship. I wasn't worthy of her. She was elegant, stately and looked like an proud and haughty queen! Whenever she smiled, she literally lit up the gloom of life. She dressed like a model. Had a sweet temperament and a ready smile. 

I, on other hand was exactly her opposite. Where she was a stately empress, I was a runt. She had a voice like a mellifluous wind chime which caused hearts to flutter, mine was grating and harsh. She had an hourglass figure and I was skinny with limbs like sticks. I never would have dreamed of winning her smile, let alone her heart. 

Destiny is a mischievous nymph. She's always full of surprises and shocks. Jyotsna met me in a street near her home in Kolkata. I was simply enchanted after seeing her and followed her to her home. She initially ignored me and then got interested as I was very funny. I know a lot of tricks. In my long life, I have had many opportunities too learn a lot of things. I used my unbeatable armory of tricks to entice her and was rewarded by her affection. Impossible that it sounds, she fell in love with an ugly brute like me. 

I was beyond myself, hardly able to believe in my luck, I went around in a golden daze! I wanted to wear her on my lapel, but I didn't have a coat. I wanted to sing songs written on her, but I was not a poet. She made me ignore my ugliness. In fact, she adored my scarred and broken face! We met every day. I was always absorbed in her inane, never ending chatter, understanding one word in seven of it. 

I was living in a heaven when he entered his life. Dr Shailesh was a tall and handsome looking guy. He was very witty. Had a beautiful voice and was very rich with great manners to boot. He was everything I was not. In addition, he met her everyday and loved her. I could see it in his eyes. 

For the first time in our little and strange love life, Jyotsna got angry on me because of him and asked me to go away. She slammed the door shut on my face. I begged her to not to hate me. She finally allowed me to stay on the condition that I will never object to him. I didn't have any options. I stayed in the distant hope that she will realize some day that no one in the world can love her more than I.

Persian poet Abdurrahim Khankhana has said that love, cough, alcohol and blood cannot remain hidden, however hard one tries to hide them. It was soon evident that they were in love and were planning to marry each other. I was ablaze with jealousy. I went berserk with the storm brewing in my angry but helpless mind. I tried to woo her away from Dr Shailesh, but I was no match for the handsome Apollo. The tricks which had wooed her initially failed to win her again. Jyotsna initially started shouting at me, then ignored and hated me. The process of shutting me out was becoming frighteningly frequent now. And, her resistance to my begging increased. 

Then one fateful day he came to her. I could see the love for him in her eyes. I got very angry. All my life, I had lived in gutter and was not willing to allow this sweet talking charmer to snatch away the reason of my life. I decided to attack that damned doctor. Jyotsna came inbetween us. White with anger and hatred, she slapped me and kicked me out. Her door shut on my face with a despairing finality. I sat numb for a few hours. Then I started begging her to come back. 

Deep in my heart I knew that this door will never open now. But, I was unwilling to accept that her love for me can die before the glamour of the charismatic doctor. After all, wasn't I always willing to fight and die for her? Wasn't I honestly loyal and fiercely protective about her? Didn't I love her more than even her parents did? I was wrong. The door never opened. Even though I opened my heart. I cried and screamed in that dismal night. Startled and indignant birds cursed me to be quiet. I finally left with a broken heart. 

I was a stupid fool! A beautiful woman cannot marry a dog, however it loves her. We canines can be a woman's best friend, but never a spouse. I whined and barked at the waning moon once then put my scrawny tail between my hind legs and slunk off in the dying night, towards my gutter...