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Dr Major Nalini Janardhanan



Dr Major Nalini Janardhanan


Love you amma

Love you amma

6 mins

 “Amma, please don’t cry…You are already ill. Just don’t worry. I will come back soon.” She opened her eyes to see that she is in a tent. Moonlight is coming through the cloth window of the tent. The night is silent. Her heart went out to her mother.

 Major Padmini realized that it was only a dream. She was on duty at Longewala near the Rajasthan border. Outside the tent, there was only sand shining in the moonlight and stretching for a long distance. It is a desert area with very few trees around.

Being a medical officer in Army Medical Corps, she was sent on temporary duty to Longewala. Her commanding officer and other officers were staying in nearby tents. Jawans were put up in tents far away. Padmini never felt lonely or unhappy staying in a tent in a desert away from her family, as she was a true officer at heart. She believed in serving her motherland till her last breath. But she was worried about her mother who is bedridden at home. Her brother and sister-in-law are there to take care of her but Padmini wanted to be with her mother.

After having breakfast along with other officers, Padmini came back to her tent. She thought of writing a letter to her mother.

“Dear Amma,

I can visualize your countenance when you read my letter. Your beautiful face brightening up with a lovely smile…Amma, I haven’t forgotten you. I am really concerned about your health. I couldn’t make any phone calls to you as we are staying along the border area. Here only Army phones are working (landline phones) and I couldn’t get through your number probably due to signal network problems.

Amma, I always wanted to tell you frankly so many things. But most of the time I used to hesitate in opening up my mind. Now it is time for a heart-to-heart chat for the mother and daughter, OK?

You are the most important person in my life. Our relationship started in your womb when I was staying there connected to you through the umbilical cord, safe and away from the dangers of the world. I could feel your love which wrapped me like a soft embrace. After my birth, when I opened my eyes it was your face which I saw first. How can I forget your lovely smile and tearful eyes…I knew that they were tears of joy. You had many health problems in pregnancy and suffered severe labor pains just to bring me to this world. My first food was your breast milk which was so sweet like your love. When you held me close to your heart, I could feel your heartbeats and I fell asleep peacefully. I felt protected in your lap which I am missing even now. Remember how I used to come running to you when I am depressed or discouraged to cry my heart out and your lap was my solace?

The first word uttered by me was ‘Mom’. When I started taking my first steps in life, you held my hand and taught me how to walk. And that was the beginning of my journey. You helped me sail through many difficult times of life from childhood till now. You did even small little things to make me smile. Amma, you walked that extra mile to see the happiness on my face. When I started my LKG in school, you accompanied me on the first day. I cried when you left me. But you waited there outside the school till the time I came out, just to give me the reassurance that you are always there for me. Your goodnight kiss and affectionate embrace helped me sleep peacefully to wake up to a new morning. You played with me like a kid, memorizing Nursery rhymes with me. As years passed by, I made friends and enjoyed learning new things in school. After Dad’s death, you were both my Dad and Mom. You always encouraged me to participate in various competitions. You congratulated and made me feel proud when I brought home prizes and trophies. Gradually winning became a habit of addiction for me. I became the best all-rounder student in school and colleges. I am an achiever today only because of you. Whenever I fell ill, you were always there reading books for me or telling stories till I sleep. Your melodious lullaby is ringing in my ears even now. I miss you Amma…

You know that daughters have a special bond with their mothers. You are my first friend, best friend and forever friend. As a teenager, I shared my problems with you. I remember telling you about my crushes, heartbreaks and about the boy who loved me. As a true friend, you always heard me with patience and gave me the best advice. You guided me when I was at crossroads.

I am a strong woman now because a strong woman like you raised me. But whenever I feel dejected or worried about you in the evenings, I go out of the tent and pray in front of a small idol of Goddess Durga installed here by our Jawans. I could see your affectionate eyes when I look into the eyes of ‘Devi Maa’. The ancient saying ‘Mathru Devo Bhava’ (worship your mother as God) is true in my life. For me, you are the incarnation of the divine mother. Amma, Please don’t leave me alone.

 Amma….your loving eyes told me that I could look into them whenever I feel depressed or anxious. Your ears told me that there would always be someone to listen to me, be it happy moments or sad moments. You understood even the things I never said. You could read my mind like an open book. Your lips told me that there would always be someone to smile at me even when the whole world neglected me or discouraged me. You taught me to get up and move on in life whenever I fall on my knees feeling defeated. I learnt that failure is the stepping stone to success. Your hands told me that there would always be support for me during my struggles or periods of trial. I kept holding your hands to cross all the paths safely and came out as a winner. You gave me life. You gave me confidence, love and courage. You are the most inspiring woman in my life.

My life was never a bed of roses. The road I travelled has not been easy. There were stones and thorns on my path. I struggled a lot to reach this proud position of an Army Medical Officer. This was possible only because you were walking with me. You helped me grow and reach greater heights. As the saying goes, ‘Mothers hold their children’s hand for a short while but their hearts forever.’

Amma, you mean the world to me. You are my world! Please take care of your health. I will come home soon.

Love you Amma….

-Your loving daughter Padmini”

Major Padmini wiped her tears and closed her letter.

“Good Morning Madam”- A jawan came and saluted her.

 “Ranveer, please take this letter and give it to the Havildar Clerk for sending it to my home. "-She returned the salute and told him.

“OK Madam, CO Saheb is calling you.” He replied.

Major Padmini nodded and walked out of the tent to meet her Commanding Officer. She knew that her mother would be happy to receive her letter. She closed her eyes and prayed “Dear God, please help my mother to get well soon. You know that she is my lifeline. I wanted to meet her soon.”

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