Lost And Found

I was standing at the main door. I was curiously looking around. Only then, I saw a couple with an old lady, she might be their mother. Suddenly, a tear left my eye.

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself... I am Meenakshi...Mrs. Meenakshi Goyal, a wife and a mother of two.

As I was looking at the family, suddenly, a voice echoed. " You will pay for it ".

It was none other than my 20 yr old daughter, Pallavi.

I wish I could go back to those times and change everything. If I could, we would have been together and happy.

I was brought up in a typical male dominating Indian society. We were 4 siblings. I was the youngest one.

I was able to study till the 10th. Of course, girls belonging to respected families shouldn't study much. However, I convinced my parents somehow and filled my senior secondary in correspondence. Due to some family occasion, my elder brother didn't allow me to appear for my exams. I was expected to obey his orders and I did the same. But, I still have regrets.

Then, I got married. I got a daughter within one year after marriage. As a good and obeying Daughter-In-Law, within the next two years, I gave my in-laws, their grandson, Lakshya.

He had a dark complexion like me and unlike Pallavi, who was fair just like her father and grandmother.

Even Pallavi helped me a lot by taking care of him. She kept holding his feeder for hours. She used to sing a lullaby for him. He got to listen to a new bedtime story from her every day. On Sunday mornings, they both had a small story session in the morning also. There was so much love between them.

Things were going fine for many years.

After that, my husband migrated to another city in search of work. I was handling both the kids, alone in the house.

My husband was the younger son of the family, and Lakshya was the younger grandson. As I knew, we didn't have any sort of security for our future. I didn't want something to happen with my son as a sort of thing happened with my husband, because he is younger.

I didn't even realize when these insecurities made me vulnerable. With each passing day, I was getting more and more affectionate towards my son. Every mother wants a secure and bright future for her son. So did I.

After some years, we all shifted to a new city with my husband. What I saw was unbearable. My husband was working so hard on a meager salary.

Because of this salary issue, we both started having regular fights. Things were getting messier and worsen between us. As kids were getting mature, they were able to understand things.

When Pallavi hit her teens, she was getting changes...More than physical and hormone changes, she was getting behavioral changes. But, she was still my obedient daughter, till the age of 18 years.

As Lakshya entered his teenage, he became aggressive. He started showing his supremacy over Pallavi. Whenever she had complained about it...We both had always ignored it...Thinking Lakshya is a kid and Pallavi is his elder sister, so she acts mature.

Things to which, she was used to for so many years, started creating a daily issue in our lives. I couldn't explain to her that she was a girl and he was a boy. He deserves to be chosen. My brother was always preferred over me, even my brother-in-law and my husband were preferred over their sister. After all, she would be married off to someone else, we would be taken care of by my son only. A boy is superior to a girl, no matter he is younger or elder.

I and Pallavi were poles apart...From the very beginning. I couldn't digest her idea of equality, she couldn't bear my way of upbringing.

As we all know, this society is too bad for girls. I couldn't allow her to go anywhere except for college. This was the issue of conflict between us. Even my elder sister and her daughters tried to make Pallavi understand the things, but she became a deaf ear to everyone. She was about to complete her teens, I should be more careful towards her.

Every time we fought, she had some words to say," You trust him so much, you believe him, he is your pride. You will pay for this trust. You can stop me, but you won't stop him. That day also, when he gonna kick you out, don't stop him, because he is a boy, a free bird. I will watch everything from a distance. "

Her words hurt me. But I knew my son.

She developed hatred towards all three of us. She got a job and left the house in her 20s only. Since then, she broke all the ties with us, she never came back.

On the other side, Lakshya's behavior was getting worsen day by day. He started abusing us. I felt bad but I was helpless. Working through harsh times, my husband got developed heart disease. One day, it was a huge fight between the father-son duo. My husband couldn't bear it and left us alone. I was broken.

Shortly, I got my son married a girl of his choice. Within two months, we face maladjustments. And my son had chosen his wife over me.

I was standing at the main door ...Of an old age home. I lived here for the past 6 months. Everyone who comes here has the same story, one way or the other.

When I came here, I was broken. But, people here had strengthened me. With so much free time, I started writing, which I used to do before marriage. Everyone had encouraged me and supported me.

I got the job of writing for a newspaper.

I found myself at the age of 55 ...But I lost most of my relations...