LET ME LIVE ALONE...

"I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A LONER...

Sometimes, I feel like a robot. Fantasy permits me to feel connected. Self in exile. My every day went the same. For as long as I remember, I've been emotionally detached from people and situations. I LOVE MY SOLITUDE!. When I'm alone, everything is clearer. I hate being in a relationship because I m forced to adopt a persona moreover, expected to satisfy the needs of my partner. He'd make me lose my dignity and sense of self. I have few friends, but I engage with them very rarely, no close or best friends! I'm unable to express emotions so all they see is someone who is emotionally cold, detached and lazy. If I could, I'd stay at my house the whole day but there comes a time when you just have to leave your house, otherwise, you are starved to death. It's hard to get and keep through a job as it always involves human interaction. There is this never-ending disconnection between me and people, so, in the end, I search for a job that doesn't involve human interaction. However, it is safe to say that I found my place in this world.

 Art allows you to gift trap your fantasy and feelings with words and images so that you can hand them over for public consumption without any personal judgement. Nobody needs to know that this one might be all about you. Right now, I'm self-contained and free. I AM FREE... from the dangers associated with an emotional connection to real persons and situations. Now, you may be wondering why I was born this way. NO NO NO... We are all products of our environment. My mother's rejection and loss of a loved one have changed me altogether. I AM JUST LIKE YOU... I AM HUMAN...I AM HUMAN...I AM HUMAN..."

Above is the diary of a young girl undergoing 'SCHIZOID PERSONALITY DISORDER'. People with this condition don't desire or enjoy close relationships. They are often seen as loners. It is a chronic condition with no cure still psychotherapy might work up to a certain extent. However, many people are able to hold jobs and live fairly normal lives despite the disorder.