I Don'T Care...
I Don'T Care...4 mins 11K 4 mins 11K
There was once this psycho-therapist or a real life coach as she liked to call herself. She had a host of problems of her own (you know how it is). For quite some time she tried to straighten things out for herself. But when it just didn’t work out, she simply closed the door and walked away without any baggage. Now she helps other people figure out things full time (because she’s seen how it can’t be done alone). She doesn’t charge any money; it brings her peace she says. Back in the day when I met her, she was helping people return from recklessness. And this is what she told me, when we got talking.
‘Have you ever wondered why so many people lead utterly reckless lives? By reckless I mean being reckless with themselves, and having a total disregard for their health and safety. The type of stuff I am talking about could be smoking endless cigarettes, doing drugs, dope, grass, cannabis, excessive alcohol or any other type of imaginable or unimaginable substances. Some even sniff glue or gulp endless amounts of cough syrup.
Also included is dangerous driving, sex addiction, bingeing on unhealthy foods and whatever or whichever activity gives such a person an instant kick or self-gratification. Sometimes these people may hover too dangerously close to the precipice. It is more than a simple addiction; it is in fact a serious disorder which needs a closer look. Such living at times also brings one’s family and close ones within the realm of dangerousness and exposes them to similar risks as the person in question himself. However the one person is so myopic and obsessed with the infliction that he or she is unable to fathom this.
I prefer to call such living as self-abuse and when observed closely, the person concerned is so totally self-centered and selfish in his obsession; that he doesn’t care to, nor has any time to think of anything else - other than the kick he wants to draw for himself all the time. I guess a person reaches such a point in time when due to certain reasons or chain of events he or she comes to see no gain in living or no loss in dying. He lives with the only aim of making each moment more gripping, ecstatic, dangerous or whatever it is which gives him the kick.
Such a situation possibly presents when the individual sees no future, or even knowing, has no craving to get there. Just imagine the sickness of the situation when you feel no craving for the future. This happens when you feel that getting there won’t make anything better for you. Though you might see more money or comforts for yourself there, but it all fails to inspire a desire within your heart. It is something like a fresh hard-boiled egg lying in front of you; but you don’t want to eat it – why, because as if by a prophetic sixth sense you already know that the egg lacks the yoke essential to it - the yoke which makes an egg of it in the first place. So it is natural for such a proposition not to tempt you. This is what perhaps the future seems to those of us who lead such lives.
And this yoke is nothing but the golden glow of love; love that inspires living. Love - that makes life worth its pain. Love - that makes one conserve oneself. The people in this reckless race are the ones who see no real love in their lives; neither in the present nor in the future. They see no reason to preserve or nurture their lives. They are living only for the mad intoxicating moment. It is as if the sun is missing from the lives of such people. They have to put up with cold and damp weather everyday of their existence and the future they perceive has no sun rising there as well.
Sitting behind the wheel - you slowly begin to pick up speed, and then start going faster and faster, and then you come to a sound barrier or a threshold, which once you cross – you suddenly find yourself hurtling into a deep bottomless abyss. The sad part is that you just wouldn’t know when exactly you are crossing this threshold; it is only when you find yourself spinning beyond control that you realize the extreme danger.
For attempting a safe exit – the first thing you do is to remove your foot from the gas pedal, and slow down. Give yourself a chance. For a change, put yourself into a safe-lane and cruise slowly at moderate pace. Once you begin to slow down, you will start to notice the small joys catching up with you – in large numbers. The track then bifurcates - the left opening up into a vast green meadow, and the right onto a beach. The only risk you face there - is the risk of realizing that life has only just begun; it is a new you and a new life. The past from there seems like a rotting shipwreck at the bottom of the sea.’