I Cont'd To Be The Volcano I Am
I Cont'd To Be The Volcano I Am
I've always felt I'm erratic,
Anxious and hyperactive.
I overthink good and the bad,
I love running around when excited,
hand gestures going wild when trying to explain a story fascinating me.
In school, I slapped a girl who annoyed me,
I express hatred and love equally.
I don't mind breaking down in front of others.
I get overwhelmed with good deeds and genuine people because it's rare nowadays.
I love listening to people's lives and stories even if it requires courage to infuse their melancholy into me.
As much as I love talking and knowing people, I also love to be alone.
Sometimes it is my choice,
Sometimes it is my only self-help after being victimized by my emotional vampires.
I'm termed unpredictable, but if you carefully observe, I have a pattern and reason why I behave in a particular way.
I've been asked to slow down,
Quite several times.
Even when I exactly knew what I'm doing.
I've been told that I'm too expressive and emotional,
That it looks dramatic on the outside.
I've been taken on a tour across stereotypes,
even when I believed and practiced self-acceptance in my life.
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They termed anger as a negative trait,
where it's just another emotion
which needs to be solved by a conversation.
I've been warned that when you empathize someone beyond your breaking point, you'll be taken for granted.
I agree I was, but not by the right ones.
I've been asked to be more sugar-coated, but not everyone understands sarcasm so I couldn't.
I've been asked to talk less,
But not a lot of people know that I am honest and pure inside out.
I accept circumstances and people for the way they are,
But I'm constantly reminded not to be who I am!
I tried to dull my flames, to gain control
Though,
the spark deep within me
wanted freedom
to console!
Then I realized I wasn't made
to be calm like oceans
My love and concern can develop into a hurricane
that doesn’t dwell well with everyone,
It's okay to walk past them.
So, I continued to be the volcano I am,
Vulnerable, expressive, and destructive during some part of the year,
Dormant and non-existing during the rest.