How Long? [Smile (day 6)]

It's funny how people can read literally nothing from the little fabrications that are almost clearly visible on your face. One day, you will break down alone and the next day, they can't even spot your eyes are worn out from crying or eyebrows coming down with disappointment or even the dried tears that are almost always visible as some faint lighted lines flowing through your skin.

The other day you lie, no one can see the fear of being caught in your eyes or the shaking of your lips every time it curls to cover the deceptions.

When you are jealous, they don't see the anger in your eyes, don't try to assure your abilities, or don't notice the frown on the temple of your forehead while you cross paths with them.

Exactly! You just don't want them to notice it. You smile it off, believing that a simple smile beyond which no one can read, can cure all of your sorrows. is it true, though? Is it really something that's keeping you alive and moreover, keeping you away from all the undying questions? Even if it is..... how long can you keep up with it?

Hailey, a young woman not more than 20 years of age lived alone in a small house that existed near the emeralds of nature. A person who loved nature? Yes, you may call her that. Or maybe someone who was tired of the crowded life of an adult suffocated and despaired- searching for something adventurous or maybe just 'peace'. Not that she was too rich and had retired from all the jobs or cut herself off from everything a human requires. She worked at an A-rated animation studio for which people would die to get jobs. She enjoyed working with them according to what people said. Did they really know if she did, though? But she smiled. Every day she would go to work, she would hear the cheerful chattering of her colleagues, she would have a cup of coffee, arrange things happily on her desk and start working with enthusiasm that seemed to have no end. But this is just what people would see. Who knows what's happening inside her?

Every day at five-thirty in the morning she would get up as her routine was followed with taking an hour to freshen up and fifteen minutes to reach her workplace after having her breakfast. She would come back home at seven in the evening and then make her way to whatever work she has left with that is until it is 12 am. Same schedule- every day, nothing new, the present remained the same and the future was already decided as it seemed. But the past? No one knows about that. 

"Do you have a reason?" A strange whisper reached her ears as she opened her eyes and found herself at a place too dark to be safe. She saw a black seat, a black table, and blackened walls- no they weren't colored black. "It's ash." Hailey couldn't understand anything as her perplexity was followed by tranquility. Hailey stayed quiet without tearing her gaze from a half-burnt box that kept her thoughts captivated. "Go ahead, open it." Hailey stayed silent. She went ahead and followed the words that she heard as if she was being controlled. She took a long pause, bent down, and finally took the box in her hands. She came to her senses and hesitated that is until she tried to open the box and it wouldn't. She was frustrated and her anxiety kicked in.

"The key in your necklace," it whispered.

Hailey looked down at a beautiful key hung around her neck with a thin silver string. The hexagonal opening at the top of the key helped the five tiny sapphires connect with each other. She pulled out the key, hypnotized by the strange voice she heard every second without questioning it or without thinking twice about her actions. She twisted it inside the keyhole which swished open the box with a pop and a bright blue light emerged from the core of the hollow box which stored memories too deep. The box fell from her hands and disappeared.

A few seconds later the house lighted up, the things began rewinding, converting into their past self before they were burnt to ashes. A light brown couch with bows drawn on then, walls with patterns only the ancestors could read the stories behind, and there she was- A little happy girl running to and fro with the gay atmosphere that surrounded her. And there is her dad with sapphire eyes- an ocean of love her mother fell into who was just as beautiful inside-out. "You were so happy, look at her-giggling without any fear. But you know what happens next."

There was a loud noise, the agony was rising over her, people started screaming begging to be saved and spared, for a war of life had taken over an accident that killed almost a dozen people on their way from the local bridge. Hailey's heart started to ache as she fell to the ground. She could hear the last words of her parents as they were disappointed with the young lady's behavior, "We expected you to treat us better for we have sacrificed a lot for you."

"I don't really care! I didn't ask you to do so! Now leave me alone and enjoy your stupid party." Hailey's reply stung into her ears. 

"Such a sad story..... didn't even get the chance to be loved for the last time! How did you even get over this and still manage to enjoy the rest of your life?" the voice questioned.

"I smiled and everyone thought I was okay, and so did I" Hailey spoke in the strangest tone as if she was forced to speak.

The scene of the house changed to a background of a scene of school- a school that was nostalgic. Everything seemed too eerie. The air was warm6 and mesmerizing. Children chattered with joy, ran against the corridors, and there she was, a sad and pretty girl talking to her dear best friends that were her family no one could have ever dared to enter with hate. Hailey seemed to enjoy the scene a lot, she even smiled. But there is was again, the dreadful mistakes.

"Why did you tell them about my secrets?" asked Hailey as her friend pushed her away and said, "Your secrets are just as dumb as you are. We just wanted a distraction to get over with class and your work is done now. Seriously, you can leave." 

"Got into the wrong situations, was made fun of and begging to get the attention you let them treat you the way means people treat their inferiors. How did you cope with this heartbreak, Hailey?"

"I smiled...." she whispered under her breath. She heard a sarcastic laugh. 

The scene swirled and changed again. "Your anxiety." it continued, "didn't it destroy everything else? Isn't that the reason why you shifted to a place where no one thrives?

Your past is still inside your head. Your past is still everything that describes you. How do you plan to get away from that?"

"I smile." This time, her voice wasn't strange or heavy. It didn't seem to be manipulated or tampered with. This voice was innocent, something that came right from her heart. Everything was blacked out but she could see a figure darker than the darkness. A figure of a slender and beautiful woman in a high-waist short-skirt. The woman turned and faced Hailey. Who was it? 

It was Hailey herself- talking to Hailey. 

"How long? How long do you think you can keep everything inside you? Won't you burst one day? What if one day you can't hide your pain from the world just through your little smile that is now broken? What if....."

"STOP! STOP IT!" Hailey slapped her hands up to her ears, closed her eyes shut, bent down on her knees as she cried at the top of her voice and for the first time, she realized the pain she had gone through all these years. Everything was still when she opened her eyes as she stood up. She was in her room. Was it a dream? Was it her anxiety that made her hallucinate? What was it? She saw the Hailey she kept hidden for years. She was talking to her, questioning and making her aware of the damage she made her go through.

The next day when she made it to her workplace, she could see her smile wearing out, she could hear the whispers that made her feel uncomfortable, she suddenly got a heavy head and for the first time, she actually frowned and broke her smile. Wasn't the voice right anyways? After all, she had been through, she could make it all out by smiling. 

But- 

How long?