Birth Mother

My mother was in eternal mourning since she lost her husband in a terrible car accident. I was just a seven-year-old boy. I was in trauma, and I could sense the distress of my 2-year-old brother too. Things were never the same for us after that. That incident changed our lives forever.

We left our home and started living in an affordable place. Now the big question for my mom was to search for a job for a living. Though she was educated enough to get a decent job, but due to lack of experience, it was difficult. My father was earning a handsome salary, and since we both were little kids, perhaps, that was the reason, she never thought of working before.

Our condition deteriorated.

Though my little brother Golu was very small, being a seven-year-old boy, I could recall almost all the pleasant memories of my past. We used to dine out almost every weekend. Now, we were not getting simple food properly. I didn’t tell mom, that now I needed more food, as I was at the growing stage. She would give me the same one chapati as I used to eat earlier, but now I wanted to eat more. Also, I was not getting salad, fruits, yoghurt along with chapatti, so it was not sufficient for me, just to eat one chapatti with a dal, which didn’t look like dal, it was like the liquid remains of dal.

I missed my chocolates, chips, cookies so much. Though I was not allowed to eat more chips and chocolates that time also, but I had that feeling of possession that I had so many things to eat. Not only chocolates, cookies, chips, I was missing fruits, salad, yoghurt too, which I never liked earlier, but had to eat every day. Lately, I developed the taste of pizza too, but only with cheese burst base and with no toppings, except cheese, cheese, and cheese. But I could never think of getting pizza again in my life. My life was miserable and the worst part was that I could not share it with anyone, as my mom was already in terrible condition. 

On my last Birthday, Papa gave me PS4, the best gift I ever had. I could not understand when we were leaving our home for this small house, why my mother left the PS4 too. Why did she not get all my toys along, we only brought a few clothes with us. So much I missed my Mcqueen, Hotwheels, Nerf guns and other stuff. But I missed my Papa more than any other thing. He was the all that I wanted that time desperately. He was our life. He was our everything. We were not living either ever since he left us.

Mom used to cry every night. She had said it many times that because of us, she was alive, otherwise, she would have died too.

After a few days, some relatives came to our place. That night, mom told me, they came to adopt Golu, as they had no child of their own. I heard that word ‘adoption’ for the first time. When I understood the meaning of adoption, I flatly refused.

But then mom told me, “They were very rich and good people. Golu will get all the things that we can’t give him. His life will be better. And we will still love him the same. We will go to meet him regularly. He will go to a big school, will get good and healthy food, toys and everything that any child wants. And these are very good people, they will love him a lot.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

We both cried together that night. I realized that I didn’t lose only my father, I lost my brother too.

I hugged Golu with wet eyes.

Next day, that couple was making arrangements for the legal adoption of Golu.

Golu didn’t know anything. He was a very little child. When he was getting ready to move out, he was excited. But he was not aware that he was leaving us. When he realized, he started crying, “Mom, I don’t want to go. Mom! Bhaiya, you also come, bhaiya…” he held me so tight, that they had to snatch him away.

I went inside and cried a lot.

That night, we didn’t eat anything. And what about Golu… don’t know. As we were asked not to meet him so soon, otherwise, he would not get adjusted.

For me, life became hell. I became restless. I was undergoing a mixed feeling of grief, loneliness, hunger, poverty, pain, agony etc.

I was missing my Papa, Golu and my mom also, as she was only physically alive, otherwise, nothing was left in her. I was missing love, care, happiness, everything, yes everything.

That time, what I was missing the most was my Golu. We didn’t go to meet him after a month also. Mom called at their place after a month, to get to know, how was he doing. And was contended to know, he adjusted himself and started forgetting us.

We both cried together that night also, along with many other nights.

It was my 8th Birthday, but celebration, the party was a far thing to think of. I didn’t get any gift from mom. There was no cake on my Birthday. Golu came to wish me that day. He told mom, “Hello birth mother!” I could not see any emotion in his eyes and words. Perhaps, he had forgotten us completely.

I was getting angry day by day.

“Why me? Golu got the same life again, but it’s only me, who will have to live this life throughout. Why me? I also want to eat Pizza, chocolates, etc, I also want to play PS4. I also want to go to my previous school, play with my friends. Why don’t you give me too to someone rich, at least I will get a better life then. How long can I live such a miserable life, no food, no toys, no good clothes, nothing? Golu even didn’t remember anything about our happy days, but he got the same life again. But I miss everything. I also want to live happily.”

That night, we both cried together again.

And within a month, other relatives came to our house, to adopt me. They were richer than Golu’s legal parents. I was happy to know that. When my mom asked me, I gave my consent instantly. Though I didn’t want to leave her, I wanted a good life desperately. I thought, “I am a big boy, I will come to meet her quite often, I will not forget her as Golu did. Even I will take her with me along so that she will also be happy.”

That night, we both cried together once again.

Then, all formalities were made. With heavy hearts, she signed the papers.

That night, she cried alone.

After a few days, she got the message that I am adjusted in my new house very well.

I went to meet her almost after a month. Though I wanted to go earlier, my legal parents didn’t allow me. When I reached the place, I told her “You know mom, I got everything there. I am so happy. But I miss you mom, I really miss you. I love you mom more than anyone else in this whole world. You are my mother, my birth mother.”

She was contented that both her sons were living happily and they have got what they deserved.

She heard neighbors whispering.

“How lucky she is. Both her sons are now in rich families, their lives are settled now.”

That night, she cried once again, alone. Then she closed her eyes forever.