My Story, My Words

Hi everyone….myself Varsha Chopra..

I am 27 years old married now. I am a Chartered Accountant, a Company Secretary and a graduate. Presently I am a house wife and I look after my husband’s business in my free time. Now how come my story is inspiring and what such thing happened that makes me stand out from any other normal girl.

My story has its root connected to my Late legendary mother Mrs. Prem Devi Sethia. What inspiration she folded in herself and what she still holds for me, is undoubtedly enough for me to lead a motivated and positive life all over in all my bad times ahead.

Let me start by calling myself as a princess with all the beautiful bliss a girl could image, unconditional love of my mommy, papa my two elder brothers, love of my friends, teachers and I was so satisfied of what I all had. Life was beautiful. But I never had the education facilities I ever wanted being in a small town of Bihar. I always wanted to pursue higher education and definitely with the faculties I dreamt of. But it was a tough milestone to achieve to go out for further studies.

My mom always wanted to study high in her life but being in an orthodox family, she just could not. Like any other mom, she wanted to see her dream fulfilled through her daughter. She fought for me with my joint family seniors and sent me to Kolkata where both of my elder brothers were already studying. I was giving 100% to my career . I was rank holder in boards, Higher secondary and then in CA foundation as well.

I was so happy because I was blessed to do want I wanted to do. Being motivated to a supreme degree by my mom I was attending all the classes without any fail or any social life. But life played a ugly game with me. My mom who was doing good with her health in my eyes, was in stage III of ovary cancer. She had gone through a big oppression in Jaipur and had started her high doze of chemotherapy. But my mom was still doing good in my eyes. I was having regular telephonic conversation with my mom and Dad and it seemed all normal.

I wanted to see her and forced her that you have to come to meet me in Kolkata. One fine day, she came to me. I rushed from my tuition and was so happy that I will be with her , we will do this and that. While planning and weaving all these, I rang the bell. My brother opened up the door and came out. He said just do not cry and do not react seeing mom. I said “Why what happened?”. He said you have to be strong now because you are a big girl. I was confused what happened suddenly. He said with tears in his eyes” Our mom is suffering from cancer”. I was numb and clueless what to say? what to do? I mean what has happened? Why no one told me? Is she going to leave us all?

Controlling all my emotions, I headed to her. She had no hairs, no eyebrows with so many dark circles but with no emotion of being sad. She smiled and hugged me. I had tears in my eyes but I kept kissing and hugging her with so many emotions of fear, love, care and yet very sad.

My mom, the strongest person I have ever seen could never have allowed me the same. She said, I haven’t allowed anyone telling you about this for last 6 months, you have to fulfil my dream before I go from this world. I burst into tears for one hour but I had to fulfil her dream.

I had to stay back without her for another 9 months knowing that she was having such hard time and I was helpless.

I gave my CA enter and rushed to her the very next day. I served her as if I was her mom and she is my daughter. The most pampered girl of the family had undergone such a drastic change, the most innocent girl has become so matured now. I learnt every house chores for her. I did a thorough study of her disease and was with her throughout the treatment. I studied for CS through out her treatment on my own and by God’s grace I cleared in 1st attempt.

Now, it was CA Final turn which was not the cup of tea to do own my own. Again mommy forced me to start classes and we all shifted to Chennai so that bother treatment and my studies can go hand in hand.

I cleared CA somehow while attending her chemotherapy as much as possible. Meanwhile dad who was on 100% duty on my mom , was in depression. He was taking rigorous anti-depression pills which made his health worst.

Mom’s Cancer journey was beyond the pain and the sufferings we can imagine. She would not have eaten more than a single chapati through out the day on so many days. She would have vomited through out the day many a days. She had lived such a horrible life which all of us would have thought better to die for 6 years for me , my bros and my papa.

After a hell like cancer journey of 6 years, one black day she went into ICU and after a 21 days of treatment in ICU, followed by ventilator and kidney failure, cancer spreading throughout her body, she passed away on Sept 18., 2015 midnight 1 pm. She was gone forever and ever. We had to learn to live without her.

All her three kids are now CA, CS and with the best Sankara of a perfect son and a daughter. My papa is somehow managing and passing his days. I am married and I am happy in my life.

Life was never the bed of roses for all of us. But no please do not pity me at all. It has been 3 years of her death and there is no limit to the tears I have shed on her departure and the fear of that 6 year when she was having her biggest battle.

Still I wonder why was there not a single day in that 6 years when she was sad of what was happening with her. She had never shed a single tear. When I used to complain to God, she always consoled me by saying its her destiny, her Karma which she was bound to face sometime. Her tolerance power and patience was of a all together different level at least not like a normal human being.

I do not know why God made such a pure and soft soul suffer this much, what was her fault ultimately. What I know is that I love you mom to the extent what love could ever be. I am the luckiest daughter to have a mom like you although for just 23 years. Yet I am extremely thankful to God for blessing me with the best mom of the world. Please no one envy me any of you reading this story. I know I am the luckiest.

May you rest in peace mom. Your bittu (my pet name) loves you beyond the universe and beyond anything.

I miss you terribly Mumma. Please come back if you can.

Awaiting……