Healing : A Process Always!

Sara and Anne were the bestest friend, their friendship happened so suddenly but soon they were familiar to each and even got along with each others families. Both girls were always enjoying their time together. Sara was very creative type persona she used to write bestest birthday wishes and Anne was always a forgetful person. 

Anne was a senior to her, so she completed studies and started working.Sara always used to make calls when they had time. 

What happened was it was Sara's birthday Anne forgot that later she just called once and Sara missed that. Later Sara called her many times but no one picked up. The next day Sara messaged Anne they were read but not replied and a very late reply came that she was busy. Yet Sara asked why you called Anne said it was to wish her. Sara asked if  she forgot her birthday, Anne denied and said she called late but only because she remembers .Sara was deeply hurt not because Anne forgot but because she realized Anne is somehow taking her for  granted. 

It's not like everyone celebrates birthday and we are grown ups but only wish of Sara was Anne atleast telling her truth even if she forgot her birthday due to work and telling Sara, she is important in Anne's life . For Sara it was always Anne who she thought matters. Sara had a bad school friendship so she restricted herself to not expect anything from anyone and not always can a person fulfill so it was rational. While it was Anne who disturbed her heart and again Sara was left with a heartbreaking feeling. It was not because of birthdays and wishes it was because no one thinks anything related to Sara can be  important.

 Sara was thankful for everything but at the end it was Anne who always have excuses Sara had a huge breakdown. Not being able to handle pain she cried a lot and more that's when she thought to herself that.... 

"It is said forgiving is hard, you can stay enraged for life. "

Sara's young mind started getting lost in the thoughts, she started weaving a web of her emotions and to sort out answers for her emotional expressions.

"I never have thought with utmost care about this. Now, thinking about all, I thought of an answer to all the questions I had while moving on from a certain experience. They use to bother me and make me overwhelmed from time to time, and even with so much time passed it seemed somehow impossible to overcome. 

But once in a while, it urged me out of nowhere that......

Yes, this is the answer... 

The thing is,

there are things that however we try yet we aren't able to process it towards forgiving, that feelings of utmost pain never reduce! People call it overthinking or anything but that's not the case, even if it is overthinking but not always is it? 

I guess NO! 

not because someone has hurt you purposely or mistakenly, you know  sometimes bad memories or worst past experiences may have occurred just by mistake. Yet you still don't have the courage to court your heart to forgive and forget. That is because you are not angry with the person but because your scars haven't healed. No one knows what it takes to forgive..... You actually need to bear that pain yourself again beyond everything and have to forgive. What a strange feeling is this Nah! 

Over time you usually notice and understand that you are accompanied but never together .......

understand this, 

people are adjacent and not together with you. You are alone in every situation because this is the utmost truth of life, but the words and at times support of people give you strength and make you feel someone is with you it's a psychological thing.

In the end, you need to understand that with forgiving and forgetting should also FORGIVE yourself from an unknown guilt, an unknown anxiety that burdens you in the process of 'moving on' from something or someone who has hurt you in known or unknown ways!! "

That's all, it may sound complicated , but young untutored minds just cannot reduce the pain and nativity and their burst of  feelings.

Healing is a process always... this has its own unique style and once you heal you understand but it's a process because it follows an uncertain pattern in life and just like steps are completed you are ready with results. This takes time it is a process always! 

So it's better to take time and let it  take its course for things to happen. We just need to have a simple thing which is acceptance and no expectations. Rather simple things are extremely hard but it is what it is !!!