"Can I"

Can I

Hello! Readers read this small story and please give your honest feedback. I am open to all, good as well as bad. If you like it then please mention, 'Yes'.

It was a clear autumn morning, and I was on my usual morning walk. The crisp wind in Noida was a sharp reminder that winter was approaching. Just a few days ago, we celebrated the 'Sharodiya Utsav,' when India, especially Bengal transformed with five days of festivities. Now, we were preparing to welcome the festival of lights. As I strolled through our society, I noticed the Garg household; they had already decorated their home with colourful electric lights. Despite having a week to go, many people like to start showing off their decorations a few days early.

Yet, these bright artificial lights didn't appeal to me; I prefer the traditional earthen diyas. It was nearly 6:30, and the sky was painted in shades of pale blue, scattered with soft, white, snow-like clouds with elongated tails drifting across the horizon. The sun, still low in the sky, cast its rays gently, creating a striking combination of fiery red and golden hues that filled my heart with joy. I whispered to myself, "God can create wonders."

A strong gust of wind blew my Khadi shawl away, and as I bent down to pick it up, I felt a gentle tap on my back. Oh! It was Mrs Sharma. I greeted her with a smile. As I wrapped my shawl tightly around myself, we decided to walk together for a few more minutes. While we walked, we spotted a group of passerines and exchanged whispers, "Look at the birds; they are at their best!" What a beautiful scene it was. The few trees our gardener had planted in our community swayed gently in the breeze. By this time the sun was up and she had painted herself with gold colours; the soft warmth and the pleasant heat of the sun's rays were extremely relaxing.

Mrs Sharma suddenly pressed my hand and said, “I heard you will be going to the US for a few months to be with your son?” I nodded my head to a soft ‘yes’. Then she told me, ‘Mrs Sanyal I have two sons, and they are in the US too but in different states. They are well-settled and have good families. My younger son advised us to sell our flat and settle in the US and my husband was almost convinced, but I didn’t feel comfortable. I told my husband, slowly, we are getting old and selling my beautiful flat, and to be at our children’s mercy is not to be taken. Our blessings are always with our children, but we would not like to live with “Can I”. Mr Sharma was pleased with my decision and thanked me for the wise presence of mind. Then she added that on their last visit to the US, sometimes they felt awkward, ‘to ask or not to ask’ for a cup of tea. Maybe their daughter-in-law, Nalini, will not like it. Why? just the other day, the younger son, Suresh, told his parents, Papa, when you go out for a morning walk, please close the door with minimum noise, as Nalini gets disturbed’. All the sentences were said slowly, but somewhere at heart, they felt bad.

Mrs Sharma said her sons and daughters-in-law are good, but there is a boundary to freedom. When they were back home to India, and Mrs Sharma opened her flat door, she sat on the sofa and closed her eyes for a while and perhaps she would have sat on the sofa for a few minutes more if her husband hadn’t called her for a cup of tea that he prepared and kept the cups on the table.

Then she added with happiness, “Mrs Sanyal, I couldn’t control my new feelings, and I confidently told myself, ‘I can.’ As I took a few steps and turned around, I declared, ‘I can go to the mall whenever I want, I can invite my friends whenever I want, I can sleep whenever I want, I can go to the kitchen whenever I want. I can!’ The sense of connectedness and the joy I felt were indescribable.

Mr. Sharma approached me and took my hand, saying, ‘Dear, you look ten years younger.’ ‘Mrs. Sanyal, my sons and daughters-in-law have always taken great care of us, but somewhere along the way, we lost our identity and our freedom. This realisation stopped me from selling our flat and moving to the US permanently.

In response to the beautiful story, I said, ‘I know this, and I would never want my crown to be on the ground.’ 

—Chakraborty Meenakshi