Broken, Yet Beautiful

The Japanese Vase was something she liked. Ameya always loved to think of herself as a beautiful Japanese vase. Broken but beautiful. Each time she faced rejection of any kind ,allegation that cut her heart to pieces ,she knew, there is this universal hand that is going to fix her. Put golden pieces of memories ,moments in to it and mold it again. She becomes the perfect and fine piece of art then.

Life was never easy. Ameya would tell it fitted in to bag packs. After her mother's death ,it was always like that .She has inculcated that nomadic tour in to her self her being and she never stopped anywhere like clouds ,she was there one moment ,gone the other.

She could not fit in to any box .the boxes were no match .She was never an ornamental doll ,she was a wandering Gypsy at least she was at her heart so .

Her surge for freedom was lethal .She used to remember her dad telling her this would not get her anywhere .She remained lost in a different world .If fifth dimension was a reality she could doing her astral travels there.

She took the blames easily .She did not want them to get her like haunting evil .She wanted to believe each relationship she had in this world was meaningful. Every person had a story to say .Every stone she upturned ,she left a mark of her .

Neethu told her Ameya did you know the doctor Guy ,who used to talk got himself in to great trouble. And on and on and on..Ameya would reply I must be also your topic of gossip along with your evening tea girl ,I am no saint .

Anand would remind her it is enough, sailing against the stream you are old enough and take it down steam gentle ,she would ask him ,hey bunny why in the world you returned after leaving me out in that cold …did you expect open arms to hold you strong and make you great before the world. You are the light . Anand but I am the darkness that glorifies you .I am that black hole that takes it all wheat and chaff together and never complain.

Children are like flowers of mango trees, her grandmother used to say do not get fascinated by them ,they are to bid the tree good bye and they need no shade but sun lighten path of existence and their roots need experiences to grow to any lake far ,desert or rock .

Grandma ,I am that plant aren't I she used to chuckle and ask ,whose roots break open rock hearts to seek water of pure bliss...her grandmother used to say girl you are invincible...you don't give up don't you .

When it came to fight of life survival question ,Shirley Stephen asked her same ,you don't conform right ,you don't give up don't you ,you want to fight it and you know you would never win .She retorted that she still was never going down on her knees and beg ,if I feel I am right and I am being wronged....

Ameya don't you feel suffocated to suit in to this ware house job.. she was asked that question a hundred thousand times ,she would smile and say nah.. I buried my attributes and is searching myself here out in this place …

She found common people ,disabled and distorted too ,people who have taken lives and tried to take their own but nothing wavered her attitude to human being .If kindness was a habit and light and love is the way one performs nothing can stop that person.

Ameya could be a perfect parent she did every role with satiety attending to minute details .She always said between wrong and right there is a grey area and between normal and abnormal there is only a thin veil. People could just love one another in this great world according to her ,but it is most of the time hatred thru choose. 

Gandhi or Godse...both had their share of truth that they stood for .Man is devil and God ,a continent of such ironies …that s how she describes acts …like you have even the share of genders alike in one …feminine or masculine ,her philosophies were strange .

What ever broke her made her beautiful. Her vulnerability just portrayed her innocence and the struggle to persevere in the face of all odds .She would be the Japanese vase …almighty just fixes with Golden …pieces .Pieces if himself and the cosmos itself .

It is way of the world to dissolve and it is the way of heaven to build .She let herself broken and molded emerging more beautiful each time like she had a very discrete contract with universal potter.