A Seat At The Table!

“You are the final team selected for the project. Congratulations and now I will request Mr. Roy to brief everyone with the details of the project.” She looked around the conference room. The cool breeze from the AC was a little too chilling. She pulled herself ahead to show her interest. Sitting at the edge of the table as well as her chair, she was a bit jumpy. It was Afterall a big day for her. 

The view of the screen was somewhat distorted. The heads in between were making it all the more difficult for her to see anything clearly. She dragged her chair ahead making a low screeching noise which echoed the silent room. Embarrassed, she swallowed as every single person, every single man in the room stared at her judgmentally. She smiled awkwardly. She had worked hard, she deserved this seat, then why was it she was feeling out of place here? 

“I think we should take an indirect approach here.” She stood in front of a similar room, confidently “In this way, we can not only save our resources but also change the mindset of our customers in the long run.” She said, after a momentary silence, claps echoed in the conference room. She smiled as the memories flashed in her mind. The chair on which she was sitting today seemed a bit lumpy. 

“So here, We should” She moved uncomfortably on her own chair. Today she was not her usual self. She was not able to focus. As some random words fell on her ears, she tried to derive the meaning from them. ‘Project’. ‘Important’. ‘Aim’. Something seemed off. 

“Thank you very much, Mr. Sinha.” A man, a little too tall, stood in the room. As soon as he came in the center of the room he said with a heavy voice. “So, I must say, I am very impressed, it was very difficult to earn a seat at this table. Especially for some of you" It seemed like the glance was directed at her. She was offended but giving him the benefit of doubt chose to sit in her place. She swallowed as a lump formed in her throat.

“But why not?” She remembered having an argument, just a couple of months ago. 

“Because it is, Television doesn’t work that way, People want to see their favorite celebrity and not some random people” 

“Random people?” She said, raising her hands. “This is cost-effective and resourceful. We can give our product to test and ask the opinions of real people, nothing is more assuring for our customers! Our target market is middle class, then why is it that” 

“Look” The man sounded frustrated “Let’s just do as we have been told” 

“I don’t get what the point of following the same old detrimental practices when we can be better” There was fire in her eyes and determination in her voice. 

“I don’t know.” A man said adjusting the specs on his nose “It’s just that we have been told to continue in the same way as we have been working… The lead will be final this week and honestly I don’t want any problem!” 

“Problem?” She sighed “It’s not a problem, but rather a solution. This is our chance. If we don’t adapt and evolve…” She was firm and she wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer “Then we will fade away. We will become one of those noises no one really pays attention to, Come on, Let’s at least talk to our Mr. Juneja.” 

“I don’t think he will listen to our” The man couldn’t even complete his statement. 

“I don’t care” 

“So what do you think? I am asking you” She was back in the cold conference room. She was shivering due to goosebumps. “I want your opinions” The man with a heavy voice asked. Few hands were raised. Few answers were heard and rejected. “Who should we hire for our next advertisement project?” Gathering some courage she raised her hand. “Take some time. Come up with an answer in the next meeting. Now moving on to the next point” The man continued not even noticing her. 

“Umm” Her throat itched. And she sunk into that uncomfortable chair a little bit more. The ignorance seemed unintentional yet deliberate. She started fidgeting with her hands. 

The chair on which she was sitting was stiff, somewhat itchy and a little too short compared to others at the table. The meeting continued for an hour or so and she felt choked the entire time. Her lips refused to acknowledge the words formed in her mind. She was thirsty but didn’t drink water. She was trembling. For the first time she wanted to be invisible, and her noisy seat wasn’t even allowing her to do that. She had become an annoyance in the room. The feeling that she was sitting at the wrong table grew stronger and stronger with each passing moment. 

“Congratulations” An old man with rim glasses shook her hand “We are promoting you” He had silver hair and a beard of the same color. Although she had a calm exterior she was jumping on the inside. “You are one of those few who actually made it to the top. We are lucky to have you with us.” She smiled. 

“I congratulate all of you once again for making it. And it is not very long from here to the big office. You have already made it to the floor, to the table, it is just a couple of steps away. So we have to give our best.” The man then started explaining the project target and other details. 

The girl, although on the edge, was jotting down all the important points. As her pen moved, her seat screeched. Despite shivering, she was perspiring. Her throat was dry, palms were sweaty and all this anxiety made her want to go to the washroom. She was moving a little too much, almost dancing on her nerves. It was distracting for her colleagues, but it was more embarrassing for her. Something was hostile about this floor. She felt like an outlander. “Good morning” All this began from that stare “Could you guide me to the meeting room.” She asked the young boy sitting at the reception. 

He glared at her from top to bottom heedlessly and asked “Are you sure you are to report here?” 

Almost rendered speechless by the audacity of the question “Y… Yes…” She replied. Since then it has been nothing but dubious glances. There were speculatory glares hurled at her before as well, but this time they felt different. This time she seemed to care. The dream which she had seen for so long ended up being a nightmare for her. She was lost and she didn’t know what to do. Finally it was lunch time and she was happy that she could finally catch a break. She needed this distress hour. She asked the man sitting next to her, apologetically “Um… Could you tell me where the washroom is?” There was a blank look on his face. 

“I don’t, I” He looked at the man sitting besides him and the look being almost contagious affected the second man’s expressions as well. The girl now felt guilty and embarrassed. 

“Mr. Gupta I didn’t realize, Are you new here?” She enquired. “Don’t worry, I will ask someone else.” 

“No.” The man objected “The thing is” He pressed his lips. “There is no woman’s washroom on this floor. You have to go back to the floor beneath us. You see we don’t have a lot of… I mean… You are the first one to reach this high.” 

“What?” The girl asked, almost non-believing. 

“Mr. Roy” The man called the senior. As he was tall, he looked down upon her. “This is about the lady’s washroom” 

“Yes, You have to go a floor down for that” 

“That is ridiculous” She murmured. 

“You know what, you should be grateful that you have got a seat at this table.” The man said. She chuckled. She laughed at her foolish misery. She thought there was something wrong with her, with her attitude, but then she realized that none of this was her doing at all. 

“I get it now…” She said with a huge grin “The bitterness was because of denial.” 

“Sorry?” The man said. 

“You should be!” She said “With all due respect, sir I have been feeling so out of place since I first stepped on this floor. But it is not my fault, at least not completely.”

“Fault? Out of place?” The man was confused 

“You have been giving me that glare since the moment I stepped in the conference room, making me feel like an alien!” Although her tone was calm, frustration was reflecting in her every word “When I raised my hand you ignored me, I thought I must have broken the decorum. When I moved in my chair you glared at me. I thought I must have been too loud. You knew I was uncomfortable in my seat and yet looked at me like I was the one to be blamed…” She said with a smile “Were annoyed by my presence?” 

“No, No, Not at all!” The man said being defensive. “I didn’t even” The man began rethinking his behavior. “I am sorry if I made you feel” 

“It's ok I guess.” She said “I am equally to be blamed. I kept on thinking what I did wrong and feeling guilty for something that is not my fault.” 

“Umm.” 

“The non-existence of the washroom has made me understand your lack of faith. It seems like you don’t believe we can reach the top. You have already made up your mind that I won’t get the big office.” 

“Miss I think you are mistaken!” 

“I am not making a mistake here. I have been getting such judgmental stares throughout my career, doubting my potential. But you know, I proved them wrong, every single time. Only this time, somewhere I started doubting myself. But your attitude made me realize why I am here, so thank you for that! You know what, I am done.” She smirked “I am done trying to find flaws in myself. I am aiming for a big office, and I will earn that seat. And thanks to the screechy chair at the table, I think it will be more than comfortable over there!”