A Mother's Day

The doctor confirmed the news of my pregnancy. My husband and I were excited. I felt so connected to my child when I was pregnant. But reality struck me when I delivered. A normal delivery, a healthy child, and a supportive family, I had all of these. Yet I was unhappy. Today my daughter is 1.5 years old. It took me 18 months to say that "I am enough for my child as I am".

Motherhood is the hardest job on the planet. A mother is the only person who can experience pain, happiness, anger, love, and excitement, all at the same time. My mother and my husband were naturally so good with my baby. I still struggle to make my daughter sleep. It took me a long time to get comfortable with the process of bathing, feeding, massaging, and playing with my baby. When my baby wakes up in the middle of the night, my husband takes care of her. My mother can calm my baby when she is crying a lot. My brother is my daughter's best friend. My father can talk to my daughter for hours. So what is my role really in all of this? For a long time, I felt like I was the worst mother a child could have. But I don't feel this way anymore.

I may not do what my family does. But I am the only person who is indispensable in my baby's life because I am her mother. My insecurities and fear may be roadblocks. But I will never give up on my child.

Sometimes I ask myself if I am really enough for my daughter? I don't know what I will do without my family yet I know that if I have to I will do the best job in raising my child. I am not perfect yet I am enough. I can fight the world for my baby even if I have a sore back. She is my world and I am just so glad to be a part of her. I fear the day when she will move out of my house in search of her destiny. My insecurities, fears, and dependence on others make me feel weak. But when she says "Mummy", I know I am enough. My daughter has taught me to go on with life even when I didn't have any answers.

Happy mother's day to all the moms who are confused, scared, insecure, and lonely. Please know that you are enough for your child. A child doesn't need expensive things to be happy. All they need is their mother's love.