A Mere Distraction

I woke up late at night with Aditya’s words ringing in my head, not allowing me to sleep. I drank a glass of water and went to bed again. Aditya had not left my mind all night and all day. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t sleep.

My boyfriend, Sagar, had broken up with me. We dated each other for two years. I was devastated and heartbroken as we had ended our relationship on bitter terms. I didn’t know who to cry my heart out to. I avoided talking to my friends. I avoided socializing. I avoided the outside world. I stayed indoors most of the time, immersed in my thoughts. It was during this tough phase of my life that I met Aditya. Two years younger than me, he was my exact opposite. I didn’t like him at all in the beginning. He seemed irritating and annoying. I felt that whenever he opened his mouth, he would always utter something nasty and try to offend others.

A prankster, a flirt and a total jerk were some words I could use to describe him. He flirted with me a number of times as well, but I chose to ignore him, reason being, he flirted with almost every woman he met. But deep inside, he was caring, genuine and straightforward. He never hesitated in expressing his honest opinion. Probably, that’s why rarely anyone liked him, including me. Aditya was an average looking guy. He was neither very handsome nor was he ugly. He had crooked teeth and a weird laugh. Whenever he laughed, he looked as if a demon was laughing. And whenever I saw his face, I couldn’t control my laughter.

Irrespective of all odds, I began spending most of my time with him. He spoke nonsense all day and I started listening to it and argued with him. Sagar’s thoughts started taking a backseat in my mind after he took over. I shared my private life with him and told him all about Sagar. As expected, he gave his honest opinion that I was behaving like a sore loser and I had to move on. I agreed with him for the very first time in my life. Slowly, but steadily, Aditya was successful in making me smile again. I started laughing at him and with him. I began looking at my breakup as a phase of life, in the hope that better days were to come.

I became my usual self again, happy and chirpy. Me and Aditya became inseparable. We became a team. When both of us were together, no one else really existed. My friends didn’t like the bad influence he had on me and asked me to stay away from him every now and then. They felt that he was trying to change me. But I never listened. I continued spending more and more time with him. Good or bad, it was the happiest I had ever been in the past few months and I didn’t want that to change. He was like a drug I was getting addicted to. I couldn’t think of a minute without him in my life. It was like he was controlling my mind, my body and my soul.

At first, it felt really weird, having feelings for a guy younger than you. But I scrapped the idea later onwards, labelling it as just a stupid crush. And moreover, I had no idea about his feelings for me, if there were any. Maybe he just thought of me as an elder sister and I was just making up some crazy stories in my mind. A few days passed in confusion and despair. Till he decided to drop the bomb on me. Aditya held my hand and looked straight into my eyes. His words were crystal clear, just like he was. No hesitation and no regrets.

“Who are we exactly, Sakshi? Are we friends or are we lovers now?” I knew exactly what he meant, but I avoided the topic. I started laughing while he looked at me, confused.

“Have you seen your face in the mirror? Don’t you think I deserve better?” I continued joking with him, and he was annoyed by my behavior.

“I am serious this time. I want to know my place in your life. Am I nothing but a mere distraction to you? Sagar’s replacement or just a time pass until someone better comes by. I really need to know how you feel about me. I know I am not a very good-lucking guy. Maybe you deserve someone much better looking. But I do have a heart. A heart that loves you for the beautiful person that you are and nothing can match that.”

I let out a sigh and quickly answered him. “ I am two years older than you. As we grow old, you’ll start looking at younger girls and curse your luck. You still have time. Better be safe than sorry.” Aditya smiled, showing his crooked white teeth and held my hand even tighter.

“Your age has never mattered to me. I have loved you ever since I set my eyes upon you. It’s you who has to decide. I can assure you that life with me will be an adventurous fun ride. As both of us are unpredictable souls and we complement each other perfectly well. Choice is yours. Either live free or live being tied up in your own cage of thoughts.”

His eyes told me that he wasn’t lying. But I wasn’t sure if was ready to jump into another relationship just yet. Maybe it was too soon. I didn’t answer him and he didn’t probe further. But there would come a time when he would question me again and I would have to answer. One thing I was sure about, he was more than a friend for me. But I didn’t like the way he thought so low about himself. For me, he was never a mere distraction. For me, he was the bridge which brought my lost life back on track.