40's Syndrome?

“Where are you?”

The booming voice of my bitter sorry, better half reverberated in my ears. As I was wearing earphones in both the ears, the voice sounded even harsher and louder.

“ I, I am in ring road” I barely managed to mumble.

“Who is with you” came the next bullet…

“Shreya,” I said and regretted immediately.

“Shreya? Who? Who the hell is there with you today? And for god’s sake, what are you up to?”

My wife said and started to cry so loudly, I removed my earbuds and took the mobile in my hand to avoid damage to my eardrums and said, “Darling, it is Shreya Ghoshal…. The singer. I am walking while listening to her melodious songs.”

“You are lying!” wife stopped her cry for a few seconds and got back to her booming metallic voice range and ordered; “Take a risk and come home immediately!”

I was scared to go home. But, took courage and hailed an autorickshaw and reached home only to get halted in the door; the wife was standing with her hands on either side of the door frame, virtually blocking me.

I avoided looking at her. “What are you up to nowadays? Has the 40’s syndrome caught up with you? Why are you cheating me and going around with girls like a schoolboy? Are you not ashamed to indulge in these kinds of things at your age?”

I looked up sharply as accusations were getting bigger and bolder. “Darling, what you are you talking? I swear, I was listening to Shreya Ghoshal’s songs when you called me. It was slip of a tongue that made to say her name in short. Please, don’t accuse me of things that I am not even aware of.” I managed to say in one burst ducked under her arm and went inside and sat down on the chair, sulking that I had to cut short my walk.

The wife pulled up a chair and sat in front of me, threw the earphones I had kept on the table and thumping her hand on the table, spoke. “Maybe today, you were listening to songs. But it is not just about today. I have been observing you for quite some time now. Don’t you dare try to fool me” the wife continued in an agitated voice, “Did you not have an exciting encounter with an unknown person of the opposite sex, last week?” 

My eyes must have glinted with excitement as the wife’s face convulsed and thick lines appeared on her forehead. I barely managed to mumble a yes.

How in God’s name did she find out? Unexpectedly, we had a visitor from our foreign collaborators, a stunning female who took a liking to me and insisted that I must accompany her for the sightseeing ceremony in and around Bangalore. She was not just good looking but very intelligent and took a liking to India and Indian food. I definitely had a whale of a time going around and showing her the city in which, I have been living for years now. The wife was looking at my facial expression and was trying to perhaps, read my mind. She got suspicious – she must have noticed the glint in my eyes - and her voice became even harsher.

“It is indeed, the 40’s syndrome that has caught up with you, is it not? Why didn’t you tell me about it?” asked the wife angrily, her eyes blazing.

I moved into defensive mode. “Look, it is not what you are imagining. The lady was an official representative of our foreign partners and she had come for some official work. Incidentally, I was assigned to go with her for the sightseeing, it was part of my job, that’s all.”

“Oh? I see! Then what about the secret meeting with your heartthrob of the past, who suddenly encountered you this week?” continued my better half. 

This time I was clean bowled. What in heaven’s name is going on? Has the wife gained some extraordinary powers to see things sitting at home? Or, has she engaged a private detective to shadow me?

I decided to switch to attack. “Look, just erase all doubts from your pretty head. I am not a skirt-chaser that you are imagining me to be.”

But the wife would not give up. “Did you or did you not meet an old heartthrob of your past, this week? She persisted.

I did encounter a person who had been an attractive college mate a million years ago. The scene passed in my mind like a flashback in the movies. It was Monday morning, and as usual, I was late to the office and was worried. Suddenly, there she was! But one look at her, I felt utterly disappointed. The most stunning girl of our college who was the cynosure of all the boys once upon a time, now looked like a road roller (sorry, I don’t intend to body shame, but can't find any other similes).  I knew it would be futile to explain all this to the wife.

“Yes, I met Kamini briefly on my way to the office. But please try to understand. She was the heartthrob of all the boys in the college as I have already told you. I met her after ages. She too is married now and her husband happens to be one of the suppliers to our company. But I met her only for a few minutes as I was already late for the office.”

The wife started weeping loudly. “I never expected this from you. I can’t imagine you would cheat me. You are a married man with a family and not a schoolboy.” 

Enough was enough, I decided. “Look, you got it all wrong. Who told you that I am cheating you? People you have employed to follow me are just telling lies. Don’t you trust my words? You trust those people whom you have hired but not your husband?”

The wife suddenly stopped crying and with a quizzical look on her face asked me: “What people? Who is following you? I have not hired anyone!”

It was my turn to get confused. “You mean you have not hired anyone? Then, how did you know about the incidents that you so accurately, narrated just now?” I asked.

“Oh, that was from your weekly forecast which said that you are likely to meet several persons from the opposite sex, etc., I read in the newspaper!” said wife triumphantly.

I buried my face in the newspaper to hide the laugh and heave a sigh of relief!