Yet to Name It
Yet to Name It
Waking into the awareness of reality
So despairing, am I losing my sanity?
Neither the sunshine bring cheer
Nor does the rain.
The gloom from the clouds grey
Penetrates into the mind.
The outer and inner well connected
By the bridge of thoughts fraught
With inertia of being.
Words lift me up from the rut
Otherwise, I can simply go kaput.
I want to fit in between the words
Outside world, I have become a mis-fit.
In the fitness of things, I make this confession.
I will have my way, bereft of any opposition.
In the inner world I have discovered
The words in every nook and corner
Words have become my world.
A world without any hatred
Where division is only arithmetic
Where caste has been cast away
Where no one goes hungry.
It is too unrealistic to build a bridge
With the outer where the inner can reflect.
Noise outside is resonating with the noise inside
As peace eludes as usual.
The outer noise is one, that of a livelihood for someone.
Inner noise of that a boredom in the mind.
Mind will not rest
Till that one book is written
And the world gets smitten.
Showdown with the daughter
End of laughter, does it matter?
Lacking love, these relationships
Caught in the stormy water, rudder less ships.
The environment outer vitiated deeper
Seeping into the environment inner
Of the future lies the dark winter.
Wisdom not a constant but a flickering light
Reminds one of the fire flies, not so bright.
Words streaming in not so smooth
Emotions bubbling quite uncouth.
Why can’t the waves in the mind ever cease?
The constant tide disturbs the mental peace.
Why the hollow in the stomach I can’t follow?
I lie on the bed for comfort tucking in with a pillow.
The day that followed I find myself with low energy
Going about my activities with lethargy
Living a life of an apology.
Wish I could put my memory in my safe in a bank locker
I just need to remember how to operate my bank account
To use the money to meet my needs.
Where can I run away, memory comes with me?
Like a cauldron bubbling with thoughts.
Thoughts never cease until sleep takes over
Will death be the state when one can sleep forever?
Just when you wish the day will pass off soon
It hangs, it lingers, it weighs heavily on you.
It is not as if these things are new
They keep repeating, yet possesses you.
These thoughts from the memory.
Sometimes smoking used to relieve me
But smoking I have left behind.
Lighting up has become a thing of the past.
The words assuage me
Some juice is still left
Writer is still alive and kicking.
I have been adding to the bucket list
As an atheist I don’t know to pray
until the time this will go on
When finally, I shall kick the bucket.