Warring Mind

This mind was a train wreck waiting to happen

With ongoing myriad inner battles

How had ill will sown deep seeds of growth?

Spread branches with veins that forked

I’m afraid that they grow too deep

And spread too wide with a far reach

That they’ve taken a hold of me

Hard to clean, that will be

But talking always helps

The pure and good-hearted the best

They reconcile me to my natural self

And help shake the fear

Of consequences near

I wish to be that way

Pure and good-hearted

Leave this warring mind behind

To be my natural true self

Would be like shedding an outer layer

That I bear for the world

My mind is now calm

Stopped spinning long enough

Where I was blinded by white before

Now I see the spectral colours galore

I was earlier sprinting

Now I observe the behaviour of those around me

My eyes now perceive the truth

And my mind has clarity

It’s funny how the littlest things

Get so blown out of proportion

Until I'm full of quivering emotions

A rudderless boat drifting, barely afloat, out in the endless ocean

How clear and empty this mind is right now

An empty mind is fine

It’s the full ones that are worrying

How freeing in this bliss

I now forebear withdrawal

I now have the working solution

All I need is to offload these conflicting impressions

So heavy and constricting

Which, in reality, do injustice to their definitions

Discipline and will power

Where art thou?

Always in reach

But I'm allowing myself to be held back

Now, they are my new chants

Words that strengthen my resolve

And reduce my doubts

So wisdom prevails

I now realise that brick walls

That I've built

Are inept

But only strengthen

The thoughts held

The trick is diversion

Slip and slide around the errant notions

Play the mind like a taut violin string

With will power guiding the bow

So I slowly learn

How to stem the flow

Of negativity

Find peace and calm and clarity

When there is so much disparity

Between thoughts and nature,

I aim for the spectral colours

To guide my path

As bright and joyful

As the aurora borealis they are

I sharpen the mind

And strengthen the will

Divert errant thoughts

To hone my skills

And hope for this stability

That I learn from this time

And only go further...