The Horrible Sin

You said I deserved, I deserved it all

It was all, all my fault

Fault that I was born, born as a girl

In the world of silver, a paltry pearl

You said I deserved when they gnawed on my flesh

Hush! Do not curse, just pray to god- to bless

To erase all my sins, for luring them to me

What a shame it was, my dress revealed my knee

A thousand deaths I died, for the sins I had committed,

Why did I stop them? I definitely should have permitted

And see how I am withered, like leaves of autumn- torn

I killed myself, so that I can be reborn

But what a plight have befallen, befallen upon me

I am born again, only to be addressed as- She

But this time I am sane, for I learned from the mistakes I made,

I covered myself all well, from feet to hand and head.

But still their Shadow fell, cruel, ruthless and mean

You said I am at fault again, for I let my face to be seen

Ah! What a shame again, look what has become of me

So I dissolved myself, like the waves merge- in gigantic sea

But I was full of grit, so I took birth again,

Mastering all the lessons, in past which I had gained

So this time I veiled, I veiled my face as well

Not

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a single glance, a single on me should dwell!

Alas! I did fail, sadly I failed again,

Oh Lord tell my why, the lurid comments rained?

But no Lord answered me, it was you who said

It all due to curiosity, that my wondrous veil has raised

And so I deserved it all, for I learnt nothing out of my sins

I kept repeating mistakes, of nature akin

My sin that I was voluptuous, full of youth and vigour

In the world with loaded guns, I was acting as a trigger

So I decided to be reborn, vigourless, empty teen

Shapeless as discarded pot without a youthful sheen

But see how lousy luck I possessed, for again that I was seen

Broken, devastated, I was left alone, impure and unclean

Defeated by the fate I had, I took a chance again

Descending cleverly as a little child, but still it proved a bane

How horrendously they jumped on me, and tore my flesh apart

Profusely my body bled from it, when the sorrowful soul departs

Still you said, I deserved it all, aptly deserved all these

As miserably I failed to learn, the lessons from my horrible sins

I wonder the lessons I failed to learn,in the world within

Being born as a girl, was that- "The Actual Sin"?