Inexplicable

I think of you in every moment that I'm alone,

Each time I breathe, your smell captures my soul

I close my eyes and your face blinds my senses

On reopening it, tears express my helplessness

I dunno what to do in those moments

When I crave for your presence, your touch

When I hug myself to replenish your memories

When I play "our" song on loop and cry... 

It's been my alarm since then, my morns begin with you

My day ends with hopes of your dreams

I still fantasize of you appearing from the crowd and holding my hand

And then us sleeping in each other's arms, carefree

Such thoughts are unnerving, happy and agonizing together

They raid my soul, choke my heart and make me numb

It's a kind of sweet pain that I enjoy in my solitude,

But pricks me when I'm apparently not alone with myself. 

It is an inexplicable feeling where memories suffocate me

And at the same time gives me reason to exist 

Those moments are the ones I cherish, they break me

Still, the scars, the broken pieces give me my identity.