Depression

Have you ever felt this way?

Your mind doesn't want to hear anything.

It suddenly blanks out.

Your mind wouldn't want to inject it with any pleasant emotions.

It is preoccupied with an unnamed silence.

You stop feeling hungry and thirsty.

You stop thinking about everything around you and sit beside your table.

You might feel that sleeping for a while can help.

But, you wouldn't feel sleepy.

Your time flies.

But, you sit there pondering about something that you've already cried.

That something can be your exam.

It can be because of a fight with your friend.

It can be anything that you'd like to name.

I feel the same all the time

I am too tired of crying.

Now, all that I do is fake it.

Fake like I am alright.

I portray this sturdy version of myself who finds your mockery and insults as small invisible objectors.

But deep inside it, pains. 

I am too wounded that I can't figure out the difference between happy and sad.

There is nobody with whom I can consult my fears.

To some, I am over-smart.

To another group of people, I am so lucky.

To infinitely few, I am talented.

But to the majority, I am just a failure.

I am tired of all that internal politics.

I am tired of people saying that "This happens everywhere. What to do? We can eradicate this if you can sponsor."

I am tired of people pinpointing me all the time with something or the other.

They turned me down by giving me just one mark for a Short story writing contest.

Today, I have changed myself. I started making a living out of it.

They said that I sound like a crow.

Today, I have changed myself into a better version.

They said that I don't speak well.

Well, don't walk around saying that to anybody.

I have awakened the extempore speaker in me years back.

Every time you kick me down, I rise back. I am becoming stronger than ever.

But, the inner child in me is dead.

I have never had a good childhood.

I have been running all my life to fit in the frame.

Sometimes, I envy my sister for enjoying her girlhood as much as possible.

I was forced to lose my innocence, my playfulness.

Today the same people call me emotionless.

Do you see me smile, laugh, and be clumsy?

I am faking it so that you can't see my injured heart.

I am not a sadist or a pessimistic person. 

Society has made me lose every bit of me.

I am not just an ordinary girl.

I am the face of a depressed society.

Well, that feeling is controlling each nerve of my body.

This is the feeling of depression.