Windchimes of Love

“We are all creatures in the sunset waiting at the corner street for a storm to drive us into the cocoon of concrete. Storms are crazy, for one they strike without a warning, and crazier still, because they make even the most important activities of our live seem irrelevant.”

“Did the storm catch you off guard?” She asked.

Amit smiled. It was a spontaneous smile, carefree without an iota of baggage.

“You know Neha, when a blizzard strikes you hard, it pierces the core of your bones. The storms of love have the fire power to make an everlasting imprint on every cell in your body, on every thought in your mind. You cannot fight such storms; you are transported to a fairy land in their wake. You learn not to fear the storms, but what you do get scared of is the eerie calm afterwards. Strange as it may sound, the storms of love are an oxymoron – ‘calm disruption’ as I would put it.”

“Were you waiting for the storm to strike, were you a creature in the sunset?”

“Not exactly, I was always scared of the might of storms, I reckoned it to a black hole, powerful and mysterious. I wanted to be in the lull of the calm. Little did I know then that once the magical power of the storm of love washes over your psyche, it induces a lifelong fear of calm.”

Neha got up from her chair, reached out to a sheaf of papers, pulled out one and handed it over to Amit.

“Write down your fears here, be honest and candid.”       

Amit smiled.

“I cannot seem to be able to live in the present, I get anxious about the future, and nostalgic about the past. It seems to affect all my activities; I cannot concentrate on anything for a long time.”

“Nostalgia is self-indulgence. Love may be unrequited or may be fulfilling, either way its something that should be cherished. Do not let the calmness of the present let the storm of the past fade away. Live it every day. Let the turbulence be the engine of your thoughts. Let your calm be the creature in the sunset, forever banished in the everglades of the shadow. Realize that you are one of the very few people who has chosen to fall in love with the storm. Ride the calm with the ferocity of the storm.”

“I am scared, I do not think I can do this, calm has overwhelmed me. You know, it all starts and before it all ends, life happens!”

Neha laughed. “I thought I was the counselor, now I think I am not very sure who the patient is in this room. I really like the way you put it – between start and end, life is lived. Between these two extremes, the magic of life – as we know it – happens.”

Amit looked confused.

“Let me give you an example. I put on an intra-day trade, and within a couple of minutes, it started moving against me. My unrealized P & L went into a significant negative. What was earlier a situation of no trade started moving into a heavy loss. One look at the red in the P & L sent my heart into a tizzy, akin to a plane on a runway racing toward a take-off. I moved away from my laptop screen without thinking about putting a stop loss. When I measured by blood pressure and heart rate it was way above normal limits and this scared me. My heart was pounding. My arms and legs felt sweaty, I felt lightheaded and feeling of impending doom came over me.”

Neha got up and walked over to the window.

“Do you see that tree in the distance. It stood there yesterday, it is standing today, and unless someone decides to chop if off this evening, it will be bearing fruit year after year. Listen Amit, the storms of love made you fall in love with the turbulence of uncertainty. They have pierced your bones without you asking for it. You have had the courage to stand in the way of a blizzard with a smile on your face and without an iota of fear. You have embraced the fiercest storm with a calm demeanor. You have not chosen the storm; the storm has chosen you. You have tested the extremes with ease. What are you scared of now? Of losing a trade? You know Amit, wanting a random trade to go in your favor is like wanting to catch a specific raindrop while standing on a balcony of a high-rise building. That is how random trading is. When the direction of the wind is just right, many drops will fall in and flood your balcony, when the wind is not in favor, the floor will remain dry. It is not possible to collect drops of your choice while sitting in your balcony. What are you afraid of? You came into this world sans expectations and sans fears or judgement. What will you take with you when you leave the world? When you say that it all starts and before it all ends, life happens, you close the door to the beautiful life events in between. Be fearless in trade or in life. Realize that the storm is already etched within you, or should I put it around and say that YOU are the storm.”

Tears welled up Amit’s eyes.

“I already feel better.”

“Can I ask you a personal question, Neha? I take liberty of calling you by first name.”

“Are you afraid of storms?”

“I am a windchime. I sway to the storm , I rest in the calm. “

“Thank you, Doctor, I feel healed already! ”