Virginity

My virginity matters to you,

But not me.

Why do your eyes always try to penetrate my body?

But never been able to reach my soul.

Why does your love starts with night and ends there only?

Why do you demand so much from me?

And offers nothing to me.

I am losing myself and you are winning over me.

Let's see how long you will play me?

 

It was our wedding night and the moment came for which we were eagerly waiting, a moment of love, bliss when two bodies, two souls will get entwined into one. It was so magical, so special. I was continuously whispering 'I love you' to him and he was so ecstatic, whispered in my ears... I am so happy to see blood on the bedsheet, darling you are virgin. 

I was shocked, surprised to hear this and asked what would you have done if I wasn't a virgin? He said, stop talking shit, you are not a loose character woman.

My lips stopped uttering I love you, smiled fake and slept. Dreams of honeymoon, love got over that night.

Every day I cooked for him but unable to pour my love into it. I wanted to share my thoughts, myself with him but he is only interested in his adventures with me. 

I was losing my essence day by day and he was loving that. I was tired of my fake smile, my fake moans. I was tired of being judged for my opinions, for my cooking, house management skills. I hated for being judged about my virginity. I hated myself for being so fake.

One morning, I left his home with a note, sorry for being fake. I am leaving your home as I am no longer a guilty and you are no longer a judge.