Unkind

Abhinav Singhania fell down head first on the river court, going numb all of a sudden,  as the knife slit through his throat. People say that in your dying moments, your whole life flashes before you, and for Abhinav, all he could see was the mistakes he made in life. A kid who had been confused for most parts of his life, and was  trying to be someone who he never really intended to be.

Abhinav lived in a confused state of paranoia, where everyone around him was busy working to fulfil their dreams. He was living the life of a man who didn’t know what he wanted to do or where he wanted to go. For a certain time, it didn’t bother him,  because he knew that everyone goes through this phase in life. He was a moody person, anything he watched could easily manipulate him into becoming that person or acquiring the persona of the character he loved. This made him switch to different career choices depending on the circumstances his mood turned to. He started to suffer with insomnia and overthinking about the decisions he made in life, which made him indecisive.

Abhinav started to feel that there’s something wrong with what he’s doing, but he couldn’t do anything about it because somewhere down the line he knew he did not have an answer for insomnia and overthinking. This started a chain of events, or rather a beginning of a self-proclaimed destruction of his own life. He got easily annoyed at the smallest of things, and was stuck in the dilemma of whether his efforts were worthy of what he was doing in life. We don’t know how many people are connected to us, or what we do to them when we derail from our paths. Amidst all the problems he was facing, he made it worse when at the tender age of 18, he fell in love with someone who didn’t love him back. Teens use the word ‘LOVE’ very casually and often end up hurting themselves for things which eventually don’t even matter.

 

It was over; the pressure of all the things which were building in his mind for years had reached the limit where he couldn’t take it anymore, and in that slight swift moment, he made the dumbest decision of his life. He decided to end it all. He decided to end all the horrors he was facing, for being indecisive. In that swift moment, he started a chain of events whose repercussions he knew nothing about. The decision of ending his life was easy for him, because at that very moment, he didn’t know any way out, and being the circumstantial influential person he was, the only path he could think about was leaving behind this pain. The question is , what killed him? What made him end his life? Was it Love, or living life in the constant fear of what he is? Or trying to prove his worth to the world?  Or for being a circumstantial idiot?

Abhinav collapsed on the river court with only one thing on his mind...

“REGRET”