Touch Of Sky

Searching for answers is a lifetime. Life happens between them.

She was being very careful in choosing who is right and who is wrong. During her school years till the day she was working, she had this anxiety that she would choose the wrong one, so she had none. On top of it, she felt she was like a disaster, cause no one found her.

She was pretty, but no man liked her

She was smart, but no man came around her

She tried being an extrovert, but no man would choose her. 

It just doesn't make sense, does it? It happened. In her life.

She tried to be good, look good, for every essence in her, good, in contrary, no man loved her, for who she was.

She waited and waited until she got one miserable proposal, but she was thrilled and accepted it without thinking twice. 

She was happy, finally to be married. 

She was someone's wife. At least she had someone to call her own.

She believed everything, including what her husband was telling her. He said he loved her, she was shaking her head like a goat, going for slaughter with a shy smile. 

Little did she knows, every aspect of her life, was a lie, treachery. 

As the clouds disappeared after the rain, the sun shines.

She was beginning to understand it from the beginning till the end. She was drowning in a dark spell, binding her. 

From "I can't have sex with you" till she found out he was mentally ill.

She couldn't take it, disgusted as he was having an affair, she didn't know with whom, a man, a woman or vice versa. 

Something was creepy. One day she saw a figure wearing a scarf around her head, was carrying a baby standing at the corner of her bed. She was scared stiff, grab the bible next to her, close her eyes with the blanket until morning. For he was nowhere to be found. He will go out at night, come back only the next day, reeking alcohol. 

She was lying there naked, without touch to her bare skin, as she always accompanied her bedroom wall, white as snow. 

She was crying in silence, shattering her soul to pieces. At last, she wasn't able to, as she was in a muddle. She can't take it anymore. She could only think about divorcing him. The moment she utters the word, she couldn't even see the air that he breathes. 

She stared into the darkness

She started to feel alone

Started building walls around her heart 

She knew how wasted her life has become. 

Hide, cover, why?

She's scared, scared of her eyes will distract all the impossibilities.  

Who will marry her, a second time?

Will he be good?

Will he be telling the truth? 

Won't he shatter her, if given the chance?

Wasn't he nothing but a coward? 

No answer to those questions. She felt nothing have changed. She isolated herself, until one day, she decided and realised her mistakes. Now she embraced who she was.

She felt the pace of a wind, smudge of a rain. 

She is a failure of love. She laughed at the silly conundrum. When you think about it, there is life, after all, her mom used to say. That is what it is. Life. Life doesn't bring you happiness at what you encounter or experience. Life happens inside of you. You just need to identify, way of finding it, happiness. 

Today and every day she made a promise. She brings out her smile, a smile to conquer the world.